I’m back from my songwriting retreat in the Peak District, where I spent a week in a converted barn in the countryside with a group of musicians and our facilitator, Murray Webster, who arranged daily activities and masterminded the whole thing.
There was a lot of talent in that one living space! Guitar chords rang out, piano melodies took shape, and voices harmonized. We had an eclectic mix of genres, instruments, and areas of expertise as well as experience levels.
Each morning, we were given a brief to work on for the day, with a short introduction to the theory behind it. These mostly took collaborative forms. One day, each of us wrote a title, lyrics to someone else’s title, and music for someone else’s lyrics. Another day, we worked in trios to create a minor key tune.
We performed our pieces in the late afternoon and had songshares in the evenings, going around the circle and performing songs we’d written. We cooked and cleaned together, took country walks, nighttime walks to a pond full of toads, and outings to nearby villages.
The saddest part of the retreat was when one participant had to leave on the first day due to a pet’s death. She was a harpist and had brought a stunning instrument with her, only to pack it up and drive back to Glasgow in her malfunctioning truck.
While not perfect, on the whole, the group was surprisingly harmonious – kind of like our tunes. It helped that we all wanted to be there.
I wrote a lot and got some useful pointers on my rudimentary guitar playing. I also decided to let go of a project I’d been certain I would do for the past few years. At least in the iteration I had in mind, it was no longer the right thing at the right time.
I’m now collaborating on some songs with one of the other participants. And I found a second-hand alto saxophone in a local shop, a beautiful instrument with a black body and flower design. It’s an instrument I used to play but had never owned. Stay tuned – it may show up on a track at some point!
In other news, the draft recording of my short radio drama is done, featuring original music and an eclectic mix of accents, and one of my short stories was accepted for an illustrated folklore anthology coming out in the autumn. I can’t wait to share both of these with you!
In September 2021, I took a songwriting course with London Songwriters. Later this month, I’ll be joining facilitator Murray Webster and other songwriters for a retreat in the Peak District.
I’ve enjoyed making up songs since childhood, though not with the same intensity as I’ve pursued other types of writing. I look forward to making new connections, building skills, and enjoying some time in the countryside.
During my university days, I wrote a song I was quite proud of, inspired by Neil Postman’s book Technopoly. I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things since then, but the theme of technology and the value of the human experience (emotions, relationships) remains relevant. I’m sharing it below, with guitar chords (they remain the same across verses unless indicated otherwise), in anticipation of writing new music soon. Enjoy!
The Technopoly Song
Dmin C Forward turns the lever G Onward grinds the mill Dmin C And this earth we stand on G Follows where they will A Emin Jehovah’s chained by numbers A Emin That practice to deceive A Emin In this world of aimless masters A Emin Tell me, what can we believe?
Chorus:
Bmin F#min They say all roads will lead to Rome Emin D (A) Where is the path that guides us home? Bmin F#min Industryscapes where even love is mechanized Emin D (A) Is there a battle burning there behind your eyes? Bmin F#min Emin You take a step, beat steadying calls on certain drum Emin F#min Bmin Sing, will the sunrise in the city ever come?
We’ve been searching for our bearings While money paves the street Living as automatons With strings pulled at our feet We’ve harvested the oil wells We’ve ravaged all the wood Built a kingdom up of skyscrapers Just because we could
Chorus
Our legends have no heroes Disaster’s been foretold Schumacher held a candle While the masses mined for gold But in the bonds of boxes Searching eyes began to blink And in the halls of bars and malls Our souls began to think
Chorus
Take a moment to remember Surrender your control Your neighbours have begun to See, they are growing whole As we take time to breathe, to listen Bonds of friendship will grow tall Regaining what we’ve thought was lost, Maybe never lost at all.
They say all roads will lead to Rome, We walk the path that guides us home Knowing true love never can be mechanized Can’t you feel the passion blazing in our eyes? Take up the drumbeat, hand in hand, one by one Over the city can’t you see the rising sun?
They say all roads will lead to Rome, We walk the path that guides us home Knowing true love never can be mechanized Oh can’t you feel the passion blazing in our eyes? Take up the drumbeat, hand in hand, come everyone Emin Over the city can’t you see Emin Over the city can’t you see City, can’t you see the rising sun?
Goal setting is a topic that’s attracted a long-time blend of fascination and skepticism from me. I often set and try to achieve goals. Sometimes they go well. Other times, the results… well, they make good stories!
Anecdotally, I’ve seen that achieving things is usually a process, and successes tend to have invisible trails of “failures” behind them. I’ve had feedback that others have liked my blogs about the process of trying new things and the stumbling blocks I’ve encountered along the way. So, here are a couple of things I’ve been trying and stumbling over this year.
Personal Training
In November, I began working with a personal trainer. I’ve maintained an exercise habit for years, as it clearly helps with my physical and mental health, but this is the first time I’ve sought personalized guidance. I wanted to have an exercise plan that I could do at home, which would help me build skill and strength from where I was. I felt like I’d only gotten so far with the “DIY” approach. And, as a former chosen-last-in-gym kid, I lacked physical confidence.
My trainer, Kat Saunders, created a feeling of psychological safety. She was encouraging and nonjudgmental. Also, our initial assessment showed I had reasonable strength in most areas, contrary to my low expectations, though I had some things to work on. That was a relief, affirming that my years of imperfect yet regular exercise had a tangible effect.
I had a shaky, anxious start. I committed longer than the single month I’d intended, then freaked out at one point, thinking I wasn’t seeing the changes I’d hoped for, and it was all useless. But I needed to give things a little more time and to have an external assessor (Kat, in this case) show me changes I couldn’t see myself.
After two months, my trainer assessed me again. My body is more balanced, and my posture has visibly improved. I saw an 18% increase in the weight I could lift. These changes in physicality have improved my confidence, and I’ve found more ease when attempting new physical activities. I’ve committed to a group of monthly training sessions following my two months of weekly ones. I look forward to seeing how they go.
Treats for Trying
Effort and results don’t always match. I’m sure most of us have experiences of trying hard and getting nowhere, and other times when, for example, we quickly paint a blob on canvas and hear, “That’s such a good painting!”
I’ve set myself writing goals and a schedule this year. It requires effort and patience. It’s not always fun, and there’s no guarantee of “success” in terms of external markers. But, of course, there’s no chance of these “successes” happening without putting in that time and effort.
I find it hard to feel proud of myself for trying: “What if all I’m doing is wasting time?” So, I’m recognizing my efforts with rewards.
It started as a joke. Duolingo was spamming me with emails about learning a new language in the new year. I’ve been practicing Spanish in other ways since taking a course last year, but I told myself, “I’ve been working hard on my writing goals. I can have a little Duolingo, as a treat!”
Why does language learning feel like a “treat”? Because it’s easy! (Well, languages may not be, but the gamified Duolingo format is.) Because it’s a regular way to recognize my regular efforts at the harder things. And because it’s not tied to a specific goal or outcome. It’s nice to hear exaggerated praise from that little green owl, and if it stops feeling rewarding, I’ll do something else.
I’ve thought long and hard about what feels like a reward to me. I can say something is a reward, but it doesn’t work unless it feels like one. Ease and frivolity make things feel rewarding. If I need it (like food, clothes, rest, or socialization, no matter how fancy their forms), it doesn’t feel like a treat.
I’ve started a list of things that do feel treat-like. I’m “treating myself” regularly to recognize my regular efforts. I bought a cookbook after finishing a project. Did I need it? No. But I allowed myself to get that thing I wanted.
I’m rewarding my impatient self for cultivating patience. And I’m rewarding myself with things that aren’t tied to goals, so they feel transgressively luxurious, but positive. So far, it’s been a motivating strategy, so I plan to continue with it, keeping an adaptive mindset and seeing how it goes.
Advances in artificial intelligence have been key technological developments in 2023. And I’ve been fortunate to be involved in the action in my own small ways.
Mind Tools, the workplace learning company I work for, launched an innovative product called AI Conversations in collaboration with Learning Pool last year. AI Conversations allows managers to practice having difficult workplace conversations with realistic AI-generated “employees” and receive feedback on ways to improve their skills.
I was one of the team who created the characters and prompted ChatGPT to act out one of the scenarios. It reminded me of crafting characters and writing scenes for plays. I laid out parameters for the AI technology and it performed a bit like an actor would, making its own contributions.
It was an exciting skill to learn! I wrote about it in depth on Mind Tools’ blog, including the scenarios our team picked and the steps we went through to get from concept to product.
And I was delighted to see this Mind Tools – Learning Pool collaboration receive Silver in two categories of the Brandon Hall Excellence in Technology Awards 2023: “Best Advance in Emerging Learning Technology’ and ‘Best Advance in AI and Machine Learning.”
AI is a topic that I, like many of us, have had a casual interest and curiosity about long before its current, fast-growing iterations.
One of the stories in my short story collection, Dream Signs, was about an AI program who was sentient and regarded his programmer as “Mom” – but she didn’t know about any of that, or about the work that he explored independently. Cue the misunderstandings!
I’m delighted to have that story, “Like Mother, Like Son,” included in a new anthology! House of Zolo’s Journal of Speculative Literature, Vol. 4 is the AI Edition, collecting short stories from 22 writers about the many things that artificial intelligence can mean and where it might be going.
“Siri and Alexa write each other love letters…
An AI Nanny is programmed to protect the children at all costs…
An Artificial Intelligence navigates an ocean of data in search of freedom…
A space explorer accidentally merges with their sentient ship…
A young man ponders his existence in a world where human-made art is forbidden…
As Artificial Intelligence becomes more and more embedded in our world, writers are speculating on what this could all mean for humanity. House of Zolo’s Journal of Speculative Literature Volume 4 offers readers incredible visions of what our future might look like. From capitalist dystopias to new definitions of love, the writers in this volume deftly examine the impact of Artificial Intelligence on our world, our technology, and on our relationships. Curated and edited by Erika Steeves and Nihls Andersen, this collection shows us the many ways that Artificial Intelligence reflects humanity back to us.”
This month, I’ll have a play performed at London’s Tower Theatre for the second time. It’s been a massively collaborative process to get it there!
Last year, my short play The Pictures of Dora Gray was one of five chosen for the Writers’ Room showcase, featuring new writing from the Tower Theatre’s playwriting group. I’ve been a part of that group for two years now, meeting monthly. I’ve learned an immense amount from the experience, and it’s been great fun!
My fellow playwrights have gone on to produce, to direct, and to have full-length productions put on. Dora Gray was performed twice – at the showcase, and at the Barons Court Theatre’s scratch night. It was wonderful to see two different casts’ and directors’ takes on it. And the Writers’ Room showcase was the Tower Theatre’s most successful show of the year.
So, last year was great. Onward to this one! The creative team added new elements to the process this year, extending the development and rehearsal time.
The showcase includes four plays, and we all had dramaturgical input. We got to see earlier drafts of the plays at a preview night, limited to the creative teams working on them. Then I worked with the director and assistant director to further develop my script.
My short play An IQ Test for my Birthday went through several rounds of edits as we honed in on story arcs and worked to make the dialogue reflect, as clearly as possible, the unusual scenario of strangers meeting to take a group exam.
One directorial suggestion was to use improv to flesh out some of the scenes. So, I shuttled back and forth to London for rehearsals. The cast members, each of whom brought a new dimension to their character, acted out their own versions of my scenes. The director recorded their improvised lines, and we drew on them while editing the script.
It was a lot of work, and a lot of working together. Last year, I handed in a script, went to one rehearsal, and then saw the final play onstage. This time, I felt almost like part of the cast. I went to a dress rehearsal of the four plays last weekend, and it was magical to watch them all come to life together.
The play is stronger for all that collaboration. It will be performed from December 12-16, along with the other plays in the Home-themed showcase. You can get your tickets here. I can’t wait to see it shine!
One of my writers’ groups had a recent discussion about how easy it is to make a novel too complicated. This is a challenge I encounter a lot.
I love worldbuilding and complex ideas. When I attended Julie Cohen’s writing retreat in France, she called me out for it: “Keep it simple, stupid!” I need to be able to describe what I’m writing in a straightforward way. Once I’ve gotten to the essence of it, I can complexify from there!
I’m doing NaNoWriMo again this year, and I’m starting something new. My first idea was one I’ve dreamed about since the pandemic, set in a beautiful, complicated world. I’ve tried to begin it a few times, but I haven’t been able to make a plot work with these characters and setting.
I hope to write that story someday. It might be one of those ideas that isn’t quite ready yet, one that I will someday gain the skills to bring to life.
But I had a second idea while brainstorming. This one’s simpler and more straightforward. I know how to describe it and make it sound interesting to listeners. I know how to structure it.
That’s the one I’m writing.
Do you tend to overcomplicate your writing, too? What do you do to keep things clear?
Here are a few principles that have helped me take my narratives back to basics.
Know what the point of your story is.
Be able to describe it in a sentence.
Know what the stakes are – and feel emotionally invested, not confused.
Pitch your story to others. See if it a) makes sense to them and b) sounds interesting.
Make sure you want to write this story. A novel is a commitment!
Lots of good writing news lately. September was my book tour to celebrate Chasing Harmony’s one-year anniversary, following shortly after its ebook release. What a whirlwind!
From August 28 to September 22, a variety of book blogs hosted guest posts, excerpts, gift card giveaways, and reviews for my YA novel. You can catch up with the tour stops here! I had fun writing about everything from the cover design process to my research and forthcoming books.
Last year, I had a short play performed in the Tower Theatre Writers’ Room showcase. I’ve stayed involved with the Writers’ Room this year, and am delighted to have a play chosen for performance in the showcase again!
It couldn’t be more different. Last year’s play was a dark, feminist Dorian Gray-meets-Faust story about art and death. This one is a comedy called An IQ Test for My Birthday, directed by Ragan Keefer:
Callie gets a surprising birthday present from her father. An appointment to take an IQ test. Upon her arrival she meets a straightlaced journalist, a hard working mum and her energetic daughter. All are here for the same thing, to pass the test for their own personal agendas. Will they pass? Will their nerves get the best of them? A play that deals with themes of family, acceptance, and pride.
The Writers’ Room Showcase this year has the theme of “Home” and features four brand-new short plays that explore the theme from different angles. They’ll be onstage from December 12-16 in London.
“Home: A place? An ideal? An emotion? Tower Theatre writers explore a range of ideas suggested by this richly evocative little word in an exciting programme of short plays. Come along and see some ground-breaking new writing!”
There’s more information on the showcase here. I hope to see some of you in the audience this winter!
My first novel, Chasing Harmony, has been out for a year now! It’s now available in ebook format as well as in paperback, which I’m excited about because it means more people can read it. It took 10 years for this strange, literary, bisexual YA coming-of-age story to find a publisher, and I’m grateful it has a good home.
My publisher, Read Furiously, has been wonderful to work with. One reason I chose them is that they donate a portion of royalties to charity, primarily literacy charities. Some of you might remember that my first foray into publication was self-publishing two poetry books as a teenager to raise money for charities… back in the pre-digital era of the early 2000s, when self-publishing meant applying for a grant, giving your files to the printer, and having them print the books out! I got extra “imperfect” copies of my first book, Tears for the World, to sell, because a hair got stuck in the printing press.
Tears for the World raised money for Farmers Helping Farmers, a Prince Edward Island-based organization which helps farmers in Kenya, while Fire in the Sky raised money for a local literacy organization. With Chasing Harmony helping a similar cause, I feel like things have come full circle.
It always makes me happy when I hear from someone who’s read Chasing Harmony, especially if they connected with the characters. I poured my heart into this story.
Read Furiously has scheduled a virtual book tour to celebrate Chasing Harmony’s anniversary, and if you’d like a review copy to feature a review, guest post, or interview on your blog, you can request one from Goddess Fish Promotions here. There will also be gift card giveaways! Stay tuned for more on the tour which is happening from August 28 – September 22!
Here are Read Furiously’s kind words on my book’s anniversary:
“Last July we introduced a wonderful young adult novel filled with music, vulnerability, and lost love. One year later, we are still haunted and inspired by Anna Stern’s search for her authentic self.
Happy one year anniversary to CHASING HARMONY by Melanie Bell. If you haven’t experienced the magic of Anna’s musical talent, or haven’t fallen in love with Liss, or danced with Ay-a in a forest kingdom, we recommend making CHASING HARMONY a must read this summer.
We have big plans to celebrate one year – stay tuned!
CHASING HARMONY is available wherever books are sold.”
We all get anxious sometimes. But for some of us, anxiety can be intense or pervasive. I’ve been coming to terms lately with the role that anxiety plays in my life. It sounds great to be a relaxed person who doesn’t worry about much of anything…and these people exist, but I’m not one of them.
Nor is cartoonist Maureen “Marzi” Wilson. Wilson uses the handle of “Introvert Doodles” online and has published a number of graphic books about introversion. Her “introvert dream house” drawing made the rounds on social media a while ago, and I was ready to move in. Too bad it wasn’t real and affordable, right?
She begins her book with a disclaimer: “FYI: This book will not ‘cure’ you.” Instead, it offers solace to the anxious by reassuring us that we’re not alone.
It’s full of simple, colorful cartoons as adorable as they are relatable. It’s an autobiographical book, with the little blonde, pink-cheeked Marzi doodle featuring throughout.
The book is broken thematically into parts, touching on themes such as social anxiety, responsibilities, and recognizing the need for support.
Marzi’s cartoons are often hilarious. One page features a series of 9 faces illustrating: “How anxious are you today?”, from a smiling “doing good” to 8’s “complete meltdown” to 9’s x-eyed, tongue-lolling-out “I’m literally dead.” Another shows Marzi deciding to make a to-do list and then getting buried in a pile of yellow paper.
Some sections are heavier on the text, like a page of panels labeled “What anxiety feels like.” I loved this descriptive bit: “Being inside of a kaleidoscope. The world is too bright, and everything keeps changing. As soon as I figure out the pattern, it shifts.”
I enjoyed the “Anxiety Bingo” card:
Some of these symptoms are familiar, such as “Awkward st-st-stuttering” and “Cannot adult today”. And I love how she marked the “Free” space, instead, as “Never feeling free”!
There were many times throughout this reading experience when I felt seen. Only being ready to speak up when the conversation has moved on? Travel anxiety? Comparing my weaknesses to other people’s strengths? Check! And there were some great pages that were less relatable to me but will ring a bell with others, such as worst-case-scenario thoughts about hiking up a mountain, only to run into a volcanic eruption at the top!
The book covers a lot of ground with humor and empathy, insisting on the need to be gentle with ourselves when things are tough inside our brains. I enjoyed the self-care ideas sprinkled throughout, such as the concept of making different to-do lists for good days, when we have the energy to work on our goals, and hard days, when we’re doing great if we make it out of bed.
Sometimes the world is too much. Sometimes our brains are too much. Kind of Coping is a soothing read for those times.
I was getting off the metro in Barcelona when I noticed all the passengers’ eyes drifting to one spot on the platform. A young woman had a thread trailing from her backpack, as long as multiple subway cars. Everyone was staring, but no one was pointing it out to her. And I was closest.
Armed with my beginner Spanish, I got her attention: “Ma’am! Ma’am with the glasses!” Once she looked at me, I did my best to communicate the problem. I pointed to the super-long thread and mimed. And out of my mouth came the words, “I have a…line.”
It would have been much better if I hadn’t confused the verb forms for “I” and “you,” wouldn’t it? Or if I’d known the word for “thread” (but let’s stick with the basics here). But she got the idea and thanked me!
I took two weeks in May to travel to Barcelona and attend Spanish classes in the hope of improving those newbie-level language skills I’ve just demonstrated. I had a fabulous time, but it sometimes felt like I’d bitten off more than I was prepared to chew!
Learning Spanish was one of those goals that stuck in the back of my mind for years. In French Immersion school growing up, I did well with learning French. People had this idea that I was good with languages. Maybe I should take a Spanish course?
I’ve made various attempts to “start to learn Spanish” over the years, none of them terribly committed. I stayed with a Spanish-speaking host family in Montreal at age 16 and asked one of the daughters if she could teach me some of the language…given that she wasn’t a teacher, we got as far as parts of the face. I bought a Rosetta Stone CD in graduate school…and never used it. In 2022, I requested an online Spanish course for Christmas, and got through two of the introductory mini-courses in a whole year. There was just no accountability.
Then, in January, I started learning Spanish on Duolingo. Every day, a little green owl on my phone guilt-tripped me into doing a lesson, or two, or more if I was feeling on top of things. They were bite-sized, easy, and I was learning. In a hotel this spring, I met a Spanish-speaking woman who didn’t understand the English spoken around her, and I was actually able to communicate…well, a couple of things. I could translate “hot coffee,” though more complicated items tended to break down. It was a heady experience, though!
The next step seemed to be an in-person course. I’d wanted to visit Barcelona for a while, so I booked one with Camino Barcelona. They had a lot of flexible options, including activities every evening that you could participate in if you wanted to. I asked to stay with a host family, and off I went!
The host was a woman who rented out rooms to students at multiple schools. During week 1, an Italian woman and a Japanese woman were staying there as well, with the Japanese visitor staying for both weeks. Our host offered half-board, with three-course meals at 8:30 every night. When I arrived, she explained some of the house rules (in Spanish, of course), and I stood there blinking, rather confused. That’s when I realized how challenging the next two weeks were going to be.
I haven’t forgotten supernatural teacher Ms. Frizzle’s instructions on The Magic School Bus, a TV cartoon from my childhood, to “take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!” My stay in Barcelona was a prime opportunity to do that! On day 1, Eugenia the Italian asked how long I was staying, and I said, “I’m 35 years old.” On the weekend, Mathilde “voluntold” me to take Yuka with me to museum night. What time? “New thirty,” I said. What a relief when Yuka asked me at the subway station, “Do you speak English?”
Classes were a bit easier. It was strange to have homework each day, but the teaching, which was also entirely in immersive Spanish, progressed at a level that proved quite understandable. I’ve taught English as a Second Language before, which gave me some empathy for language learners, but I gained a new level of it on the other side of the desk. I met some intriguing globe-trotting polyglots, and toured several neighborhoods (and, one memorable afternoon, fumbled my way through dance classes), picking up on the Spanish as the instructors spoke it.
Barcelona had lovely weather and beaches, and astonishing architecture that I’ll have to come back to explore more fully. (Too bad, so sad, right?) Some of my adventures were memorable, like the day I went to Montserrat, a lovely monastery in the mountains. As I was preparing to leave, I heard singing. A statue of Mary had appeared before a crowd of worshippers in orange scarves holding paper candle lanterns, praying and chanting hymns to it!
I learned a lot in those two weeks, but it’s clear that I have a long, LONG way to go. Potential and expectations are funny things – so much so that I wrote a whole novel about them. And languages are complex to learn. I’m grateful to have been exposed to French early in school because, even if you have some aptitude for languages, they take an immense investment of time and effort. Someday I’ll be making more sophisticated mistakes than “I have a line,” and I intend to keep taking chances and practicing messily until I reach that day!
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