Melanie Bell

Author, Writer, Editor


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The Roles of Emotion in Writing

“Where do you get your ideas?” This question, commonly asked to writers, elicits many different responses. Inspiration can come from current events, life experiences, interests, the combination of different concepts, dreams, a character who pops into one’s head, or seemingly out of nowhere. There are probably more sources of inspiration out there than there are writers, with some claiming that getting an idea is the easy part and the challenge, and craft, lies in fleshing it out.

Ideas are the “head” aspect that impels us to write, but emotions are the “heart” side of this. Often writers are driven to the page or keyboard by some feeling, whether anger at injustice, grief over a loss, or wonder at something beautiful they’ve witnessed. To write powerfully, tapping into emotional truth helps a whole lot. This is done through connecting with your own emotions, and through applying tools of the craft to connect with your readers’.

Writing and your emotions

Writing has long been viewed as cathartic, and research now supports this view. Writing about difficult experiences, including trauma and grief, helps make meaning of these experiences and reclaim personal power. Writing from emotion is healing for the psyche and even the body, with potential immune benefits for those facing terminal or life-threatening illness. And writing from strong positive emotions might strengthen them as well, and shape them into something that will resonate powerfully with others. (Just think of your favorite love poem.)

Writing from emotion transcends the personal. You’re not the only one who feels the emotions you translate into words. Most of us have had the experience of opening a book and finding a passage that described a personal truth, touching us deeply and leaving us feeling understood, less alone, perhaps even more at peace. Natalie Goldberg claims, “When you heal yourself, you’re helping everyone. When you become clear, it helps everyone become clear.”

Aliette de Bodard wrote her Locus and Nebula award-winning science fiction short story, “Immersion”, fueled by “getting really angry.” It’s a compelling story of a technology that perpetuates colonialism by giving people avatars with knowledge and behaviours that can mirror the dominant culture’s, with characters who begin to find ways to break free. One of my favorite short stories, “Immersion” is beautifully written, and given its accolades, the emotional heart also struck a chord with readers – perhaps bringing some of the clarity Goldberg spoke of.

Writing and your readers’ emotions

De Bodard and Goldberg have plenty of company; most writing has an emotional core with impact beyond the words, which features strongly in the most beloved works. In his Master Class on storytelling, Neil Gaiman states that when you write a story, you must decide or discover what the story is about. This goes beyond the basic plotline and into the domain of meaning: what appears on the surface to be an adventure story can, on a deeper level, be about homelessness and invisibility. Gaiman emphasizes the importance of emotional truth, of being more vulnerable and honest in your writing than you’re comfortable with. Only then, he proposes, will readers see themselves in your story because it seems real.

Once you’ve brought your honesty to the page, you might, in a second draft, consider the effectiveness of your writing’s emotional communication with readers. If you’re writing fiction, consider whether your characters’ emotions and motivations are clear on the page (rather than just in your head). Think about their relationships and interpersonal dynamics: Who gets along? Who dislikes each other? Why? If you’re writing poetry, do the rhythm and images support the feeling you want to get across? If you’re writing nonfiction, does the voice? Having a friend read and give feedback can also help with making the emotional tone is strong and clear.

Emotions are powerful, and sometimes painful. If you write, they are among your most powerful tools for creating work that leaves a lingering impact on your well-being and others’ reading experience.       


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How Each Enneagram Type Can Boost Their EQ

10370417_10152774707326551_5582957100565360571_nCo-written with Kacie Berghoef

Emotional intelligence is a key concept in many of today’s workplaces, and has been named one of the decade’s most influential business ideas by the Harvard Business Review. But what exactly does it mean, and why is it important?

Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence or “EQ” (as opposed to IQ), defines it as a set of competencies that encompasses empathy, social skills, self-motivation, and understanding and management of emotions. Emotional intelligence involves skillfully handling your own emotions, as well as navigating the emotional dynamics of the interpersonal world. These “soft skills” are equally crucial for leadership, both for building rapport and for dealing with problems as they arise. As executive coach and Enneagram teacher Mario Sikora writes, “Emotions are often one part of our brain’s attempt to tell another part of our brain to pay attention to something that could be important.”

All of us have the capacity to hone our emotional intelligence, helping us become more skilled and flexible leaders. Here are some tips for each personality type to build more EQ muscle.

Type One: Ones excel at motivating others with a vision of excellence, but run into their EQ blind spot when their critiques don’t take others’ feelings into account. Ones can work on considering the perspectives of others and bringing compassionate levity into their interactions.

Type Two: Twos are skilled at empathizing with others, but awareness of their own emotional needs can be a blind spot. Twos can benefit from deliberately setting aside alone time to reflect and connect with themselves, and acting on the insights they discover.

Type Three: Threes adapt well to varied emotional climates. Like Twos, they can lose touch with their own emotions. A bit of reframing may be helpful here: instead of setting feelings aside to get the job done, consider them important information to take action on.

Type Four: Attentive to their own emotional landscape, Fours may become self-absorbed and neglect important relationships. They benefit from making a deliberate effort to reach out and stay connected, supporting others and listening to their points of view.

Type Five: Fives tend to be even-keeled and nonjudgmental, but have a blind spot around connecting interpersonally with others. Fives can work on staying open to people in their relationships and interactions, and considering the impact they have on others.

Type Six: Sixes do well at building rapport with others, but may put people off by being pessimistic. To up their EQ, Sixes benefit from working on morale-boosting: try adding encouragement to conversations and anticipating what could go right.

Type Seven: Sevens excel at creating a positive and exciting emotional climate. Their blind spot is acknowledging challenges. Rather than reframing difficulties or moving on to the next big thing, Sevens might try building their capacity to stay with the rough patches.

Type Eight: Eights are honest and know how to make an impression, but are not always aware of how strongly they can come off. To boost EQ, Eights might try softening their approach and extending generosity and kindness to other people.

Type Nine: Nines are proficient at creating harmony and putting others at ease, but their own needs can get overlooked as they do so. Nines can grow EQ by making a conscious effort to speak up about their wishes and feelings.

These suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a lot to learn about emotional intelligence, but bringing more attention to your own emotional states and the emotional dynamics present in your relationships is a good starting place for sharpening your leadership skills and boosting your capacity to successfully navigate life’s challenges.