Melanie Bell

Author, Writer, Editor

Tag Archives: self-empowerment


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Taking Care of Ourselves and Each Other

Epping Forest is one of the areas I explored for once-a-day exercise during lockdown.

The coronavirus pandemic has affected all of us, though not equally. Those communities that are most marginalized have been hardest hit. Different parts of the world are facing different trajectories of recovery and reinfection. Here in the UK, some restrictions remain (there’s no skating at the skating rink) while others have been lifted (some travel is permitted, and shops are filled with masked shoppers).

I have been fortunate in keeping my day job and place to live. My days look different, though, and I doubt they’ll ever revert to what they were. My office is closed for the rest of 2020, if not beyond. My company just did an ergonomic assessment of my home workspace and boxes of equipment arrived for me today in the mail, granting a sense of permanence to the whole thing. I’ve learned new ways of working, exercising, cleaning, and being with people in the world. If the pandemic recedes, a vaccine is found, or the infection gets otherwise under control, there are parts of daily life that I’d be very happy to have back. There are aspects of this new way of being, though, that I’d like to keep.

I appreciate how COVID-19 has brought out altruism in many communities and people. Groups have banded together to make masks, shop for the vulnerable, offer entertainment, and support each other in many ways. I hope this civic-mindedness and mutual care continues in some form. It is always needed.

I appreciate the renewed awareness that we affect each other. How often have I thought that my actions didn’t make a difference? The presence of an infectious pandemic shows that the small things we do matter. If they can have profound negative impacts, their positive impacts can be profound as well. We are responsible for each other’s health and well-being in tangible ways.

There is a deepened recognition of the importance of hygiene and personal space. May our post-COVID-19 world be a cleaner one. As an introvert, if people emerge from this with greater respect for each other’s personal space bubbles, I’d appreciate that too.

Many of us have become more conscious of our health. As far as I know, I have not contracted the coronavirus, but the stress of the pandemic contributed to other forms of illness at a couple points. I’ve come to recognize the importance of resting, taking the mental burden off, and caring for my body in a way I didn’t before. We are all vulnerable.

I’m also appreciating some of the resourceful solutions to lockdown problems. No gym access? Run in the park. It’s nice to connect with the outdoors, and I’ve gotten faster. I’ve also gotten to know new areas near me, full of beautiful flora and fauna. Limited time and ingredients at the stores? Become a better pantry planner, and try new recipes to use up ingredients. As rough as the problem is and has been, I hope that many of us come out of this with improved problem-solving abilities.

What have you done during the pandemic to take care of yourself and others? What new ways of doing things (if any) would you like to continue?  


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Creative Coping

My local park in the spring during lockdown

I write this from home, where I now do my full-time job, giving new meaning to the term “in-house”! A spider plant from work sits on my kitchen table. I grabbed it in a panic when the UK government announced that all non-essential workers would henceforth be working from home. I didn’t want it to die. A month ago, my aunt was in the hospital, unconscious and on a ventilator. I’m grateful that she is now coronavirus-free; not everyone has been so fortunate.  

A lot is going on. Many of us are confined to our quarters, dodging our neighbors whenever we leave the house lest someone be carrying an infection. Some countries are starting to reopen spheres of public life, with mixed results. Socioeconomic divisions are more visible than ever. Some people have been laid off, some are balancing childcare and professions in the same living space, and some continue to work in hazardous conditions. People’s access to resources and private space varies widely. Even for the most privileged, though, living through COVID-19 isn’t easy. We are all dealing with increased stress, anxiety, and uncertainty.

While it’s harder for our brains to focus when they are under this kind of pressure, creativity has come through for many of us as a way of coping with a changed and stressful environment. People are telling funny stories about their pets as coworkers, taking up baking and crafts, and creating virtual events and communities that didn’t exist before. 

Why is creativity useful now? For one thing, it’s a way of expressing ourselves, channeling our anxieties and experiences of this strange new world by creating something new. For another, it can be calming, with the process of making art or crafts grounding us when we have limited opportunities to engage with the physical world. Creativity is also born of resourcefulness – limited ingredients in the pantry, for instance, can spark new meal ideas, and museums’ challenge to recreate famous works of art with objects at home have yielded impressive results. 

I’ve found that my attention span has dwindled, and I’m not as focused on longer projects as I have been at other points. Briefer ideas and bursts of expression are more my speed in these isolation days. I’ve been taking photos during daily government-permitted exercise outings and writing a lot of poetry about the virus. I’ve made kimchi for the first time, with this recipe yielding good results. I’ve enjoyed an online poetry writing retreat and read free e-books that authors have shared. Making stuff and enjoying things that others make reminds me that hope persists. We are experiencing collective challenges, but we can still bring new and beautiful things into the world in the midst of them.   

What creative activities are helping you get through the pandemic?


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Following The Artist’s Way Again, Over 10 Years Later

Five pelicans groom themselves in St. James’ Park, London, during one of my Artist Dates.

During the first year of my undergraduate studies, I encountered a book called The Artist’s Way. A classmate who’d completed a visual arts program told me about the volume and how his class had used it at art school. Julia Cameron’s book has sold over 3 million copies and inspired countless artists, but this was my first encounter with it. I was intrigued by my friend’s stories of how the book inspired an outpouring of productivity and gave him the courage to use masses of high-quality paint rather than being stingy. I wanted to check this book out myself.

I found a copy of The Artist’s Way in a used bookstore. One of my classes at the time involved a project in which we all found something we’d always wanted to do and did it. I’d always wanted to paint, and I used this book as inspiration. I started writing Morning Pages, following Cameron’s practice of writing three pages longhand every morning in which you vent, brainstorm, and babble. I went on Artist Dates, inspiring solo outings, though I no longer remember where I went. 

I did Cameron’s exercises, listing activities I’d always wanted to do and “secret selves” who reflected aspects of my personality that I didn’t typically express. To be candid, I only made my way partway through the book, but by the end of the year, I had in fact learned to paint. I hung some of my pieces in my dorm room, and painting entered the repertoire of arts I practiced and believed myself capable of doing. I also tried out other art forms, writing a good song and a not-as-good-but-still-finished musical. The Artist’s Way, even imperfectly followed, was a wellspring of inspiration. Once the year ended, inspired and enlivened, I moved on.

Near the end of 2019, over a decade later, an intriguing call for submissions got me writing a fantasy short story on the commute to and from my editing job. I got started but alternated between chipping away at the story and sitting there with a muddled, unproductive brain. I wanted to keep up my momentum, to keep writing, so I found myself picking up a tool I hadn’t used in years: the Morning Pages. 

On mornings when my brain wasn’t up to the task, I used my time on the London tube to ramble in my notebook about what was happening in my life. From there, spurred on by seeing a friend posting about The Artist’s Way on social media, I began to follow the book in earnest. My story coaxed me into taking a second walk down the Artist’s Way. 

A lot has changed since my first half-finished use of Cameron’s tools. I’ve moved from the creatively nurturing nest that my university provided for me to the daily routine of a full-time job, moving in a circuitous path that’s included freelancing, multiple careers, and entrepreneurship. I’ve lived in three different countries. I’ve published a successful book and dozens of short pieces. Having come from a place of early success, I’ve also become very familiar with failure. I’ve been prolific at times, blocked at times, and overly reticent with submissions. The drive of creative inspiration has at many points given way to the need to get things done. 

This need has given me a new perspective on The Artist’s Way. I’m discovering that it is, in fact, an ingenious organizational tool. The Morning Pages remind me of forgotten items to check off my to-do list and help me organize my creative projects. Sometimes bits of writing emerge from the pages, but more often than not they resemble vacuuming – getting the mind clean and ready for work. The Artist Dates have taken me on walks around the neighborhood where I work, enjoying the splendors of Buckingham Palace and St. James’ Park, becoming familiar with the birds and flowers there. For some, Artist Dates bring a welcome sense of adventure. For me, they’ve brought a deeper connection and grounding in my surroundings.  

The first time I tried The Artist’s Way, I was much closer to being that “artist child” that Cameron wants her readers to reconnect with inside themselves. I was less familiar with the challenges of the marketplace and had largely received encouragement in my writing and creative pursuits. I’d experienced the sting of some failures, but not on the scale that adulthood would bring. With this context, the encouragement offered by The Artist’s Way has been much more powerful the second time around. 

Engaging with the book’s exercises has not been easy. They’ve opened old wounds and questions about my future. However, the changes have been profound. I’d expected to discover an exotic array of new interests or begin engaging with new art forms the way I did last time. Instead, my inner voice piped up loud and clear that I want to write and need to fight for that desire. 

I was reminded of being eight years old and imagining that I would someday write all the things I read – mystery novels, advertisements, nature magazines, newspapers, everything! I remembered submissions that got lost and wondered why I hadn’t followed up. I became determined to follow that voice urging me to write all kinds of things, write what’s fun, and not put limits on myself. It’s okay that I want to be focused right now, that I don’t want to crochet or make a podcast. It’s okay that I’m scared to fail over and over. I’m determined to listen to my inner voice and honor that eight-year-old’s dreams. 

So, what’s changed in my life since beginning my second journey with The Artist’s Way? I’ve written a short story and several poems, begun a novella in a new genre, finished revising a manuscript and submitting it to my first round of agents, and embarked upon a “100 submissions a year” challenge. (I’m going for submissions rather than rejections because it’s a concrete goal within my control. One of these has already turned into an acceptance, and I’m certainly not sulking about it!) 

I’ve taken the initiative to create a blog for authors at my job. I’ve come up with several ideas for potential writing projects. I’ve started learning about linguistics and spent a morning picking up a few phrases in Swahili. I’ve gotten back in touch with some old friends, reached out to my great-aunt about family recipes, and grown very familiar with the pelicans of St. James’ Park. Fear, realism, and cynicism tango with hope and the excitement of infinite possibilities. Here I stand, in the middle of the Artist’s Way, and this time I’m determined to make it to the end.

Have you tried The Artist’s Way? What was your experience like?


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New Year, New You? Think Baby Steps.

It’s that time again: time for New Year’s resolutions. January rolls around and you make plans for the year ahead. You envision your best self and create resolutions hoping to make that person real. Sometimes your goals pan out. If you’re anything like me, though, all too often the following year arrives and the idealized self remains a distant dream, with resolutions left behind somewhere along the way. Many of my editing and coaching clients share my experience – a fairly common one – of having big dreams but struggling with practical goal-setting.

For a couple years, I made resolutions to do things I was already in the habit of doing, as I was confident that these goals would be fulfilled. Indeed they were, but while these easily achievable resolutions showed that I could continue on a positive course of action, they also added nothing new to my life. Later, I tried setting short intentions, choosing an overarching word or phrase, such as “making money,” to guide my year, and I set goals that were concrete but out of my comfort zone. These measures helped. But as 2019 brings in a new crop of enthusiastic articles about changing your life with the shifting of the calendar year, I think a change in philosophy is called for as well. Below are some measures that have helped in my own goal-setting and in my work with clients.

Think big if you want – as a starting point.

Lots of us find it fun to imagine the best version of ourselves. How can we know who we might become if we don’t allow ourselves to dream? Go ahead and make that vision board if you enjoy doing so, or that wild list of things you want to do in the future. Map out all the books you want to write or the countries you want to travel to. Your dreams will serve as fuel for your daily life. As the next steps suggest, though, be mindful that you can’t do everything at once.

Then bring the dream down to earth.

This is where practical goal-setting measures come in. The big dreams we have about our lives may not be realizable all at once, but if we think things through and plan carefully, we can create realistic outcomes that we wish for. Getting in shape, for instance, becomes easier if we don’t just purchase that gym membership but set a schedule, join an exercise class, and/or commit with a friend to exercise together. Writing a novel becomes easier if you set yourself a daily word count and working time. In 2017, Kacie Berghoef and I blogged about setting SMART goals. Try out this method of practical goal-setting by making your resolutions specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.

Hold yourself accountable.

I mentioned setting a schedule and finding a gym buddy. Once you’ve created a goal for yourself that moves in your desired direction and works with the life you have now – something small, not too time-consuming, trackable, and concrete – put measures in place to hold yourself accountable to it. Pencil (or type) commitments into your calendar. Set up a mutual support system with someone else where you check in periodically with each other about your goals. Many of my editing clients have found it useful to set deadlines and have check-ins. In some cases, working with me as an editor/writing coach and having that external cheerleading provided motivation for them to finish their projects. Make sure that you are committed, that your progress is being observed, and if possible, that someone besides you is invested in your achieving the goal.

You don’t have to do everything now.

You may have noticed the use of “goal,” singular. The key in achieving goals is not to set too many all at once. Rather than climbing that mountain right away, commit to baby steps by starting the training process. If you tend to make long lists of resolutions, set yourself fewer goals than you think you can realistically accomplish: that way your efforts will be focused. If you have a big vision and aren’t sure where to start, pick one step in that direction that you can get started on right away and commit to regularly. The key is just to get started. The fruits of a beginner’s effort will bring you more satisfaction than a dream unrelated to your actions.  

If you get closer to where you want to be, that’s a win.

We don’t always fulfill our new year’s resolutions. As I looked back on my goals for 2018, there was one that stood out as uncompleted. I hadn’t made the progress that I’d hoped, and felt disappointed looking back – until a loved one pointed out that I’d improved. I could see then that even if I hadn’t been 100% successful, setting and working towards that goal had still been a success. Maybe it’s the same for you. Are you in slightly better physical shape, for instance? Did you start that novel, even if you didn’t finish it? At the end of each year, look on your progress and celebrate. After all, no one says that you have to complete a goal in a year – you can keep going for as long as you like!

Good luck with your goal setting, and happy 2019!


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Celebrating My Wins of 2018

Some of my publications in 2018

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is almost over. Hopefully the year has had bright spots for you as it has for me. Following the publication of The Modern Enneagram in 2017, this has been a fruitful year of career building in writing and editing. I’m celebrating these wins as we honor the year that’s coming to a close and move towards the next.

Freelance editing

When I moved to Edinburgh from San Francisco in May 2017, I left my long-held part-time job as a writing tutor/instructor at an art college and moved into full-time self-employment. Initially, I offered writing coaching and set up an Enneagram workshop as well as seeking out editing projects. Beginning in 2018, my money-making direction clarified itself. While continuing to copy edit nonfiction, I had opportunities for developmental editing on fiction projects and began working with a new publisher on manuscript evaluations. It’s been richly rewarding to dive into story structure, hone my constructively critical eye, and give input in a way that’s appreciated.     

Anthology (and other) publications

While in Edinburgh, I participated in two lovely local writers’ groups and continued submitting my work. In addition to having articles and short pieces published, my work was accepted for four anthologies! It’s been exciting to have them arrive in the mail throughout the year and to discover gems from writers I wasn’t previously familiar with.

Here’s a round-up of my publications this year:

–Hashtag Queer, Vol. 2 Anthology: Mira (short story)

–Queer Around the World Anthology: Four Walks in Montreal (creative nonfiction)

–Spoon Knife 3: Incursions Anthology: The New World (science fiction short story)

-Shut Up and Write Anthology: How a Volunteer Grandma Helped Me Find My Voice (personal essay)

-Page and Spine: Quicksilver (short story)

-Write Naked: What One Freelancer Did With a Month Off (guest post)

-School of Shine: Setting Intentions for the New Year; What I Left Behind; Land, Love, and My People (personal essays)

-ELearning Industry: 6 eLearning Trends to Watch for in 2018 (research article)

 

A few of my pieces were also chosen to be reprinted:

–The Quilliad: Beast (poem)

-IEA Nine Points: Thoughts on the 2018 IEA Conference and Community (originally a blog post)

-Go Conscious: How Each Enneagram Type Can Build Healthy Habits (originally a blog post coauthored with Kacie Berghoef)

 

Enneagram conference presentations

While words are the most natural source of steady work for me, I love the depth and impact of the Enneagram. In 2018 I traveled to Amsterdam to give the mini-workshop, “Writing Your Enneagram Journey,” that participants enjoyed at summer 2017’s IEA Global Conference. I was also approached by my friend Chloe Keric-Eli, a Montreal Enneagram teacher, to submit a joint proposal for 2018’s IEA. As immigrants between multiple countries and cultures, our shared experiences led to the idea of presenting on “Where Culture Meets Type.” Participants at both conferences dove fully into the exercises, bringing insights about their personal and cultural stories that were illuminating for many in the room.      

A day job (and a move!)

Freelancing as an editor as my primary occupation provided wonderful opportunities to gain new skills, but it also highlighted additional things I wanted to learn. I realized that the most effective way to learn many of these would be to find an in-house role. Further, I hadn’t moved all the way to the UK to sit in my flat during working hours rather than engaging fully with the culture. Working with my primarily North American client base just wasn’t quite the same. I applied to day jobs in the editing field and was offered one in London working for RUSI, London’s venerable defence and security think tank. I moved in July, leaving a beautiful work-from-home space and gaining colleagues, increased confidence in my work, and skills ranging from project management methods to document design. When I’m not at my day job, I continue to work as a freelance editor on select projects. I’ve gotten quicker with my work, and more assured in making editorial choices. I’m committed and growing. I look forward to seeing where this career path takes me.

A novel draft completed

I have manuscripts sitting in my Dropbox folders that never made it to the book deal stage, and know from experience that finishing the first draft of a novel is a different beast from finalizing it and from hitting a chord that resonates with the reading public. I am, however, proud of the draft I completed this year. It’s a fantasy adventure story – the kind of thing I read for fun; the kind of thing I wrote as a youngster and teenager, and even then neglected to submit anywhere in favor of more “serious” stuff. I’ve been learning in the last few years that being fascinating does not make a thing less real. I put a lot of feelings about immigration and identity into this novel about magic. I got to invent a world with cities in caves and clouds, and I loved spending time there. I got to write “the end.”  

What are your wins this year?


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Engaging All Three of Your Enneagram Centers

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Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

When most of us first learn the Enneagram, we discover that there are three Centers of Intelligence: the Gut Center, Heart Center, and Head Center. All of these centers contain powerful gifts, and it’s important to balance all three for us to remain present in our daily lives. Without doing personal growth work, our centers tend to be out of balance. Similarly to how we use our Instinctual preferences, we typically overdo certain centers while neglecting other ones. These priorities show up in predictable, type-specific patterns.

Here are the centers that tend to be weak or underused in each of the types:

Types Four, Five, and Nine: The Gut Center is underused

These three types, which comprise the withdrawn social style, may often seem like they have their “head in the clouds,” focusing on daydreams, intellectual ideas, or the world of emotions. However, they tend to be ungrounded, and it can be difficult for them to take action and get things done in the physical world.

Types Three, Seven, and Eight: The Heart Center is underused

These types form the assertive social style, and they tend to be people who initiate new projects, get things done, and assert themselves with confidence. But, they have a difficult time slowing down, and getting in touch with their own personal emotions, desires, and thinking before they act.

Types One, Two, and Six: The Head Center is underused

These types come together to become the compliant social style, and they tend to be service-oriented, dutiful, and responsible individuals. Although many people of this style are highly intelligent, they often follow established rules or do what they feel is expected or needed instead of coming up with their own rules.

The Enneagram Institute believes that, much like the Instincts, we can’t stop “doing” our preferred centers, but we can make a conscious effort to actively practice our underused center. By doing this, we’ll automatically use our preferred centers less frequently, allowing us to be more in balance.

Here are some suggestions for balancing your centers:

Types Four, Five, and Nine: Get Moving

Get out of your fantasies, thoughts, and daydreams, and start getting things done in the “real world.” Your body is a powerful instrument, and consciously grounded action will show you its strength and power. Simple ways to get grounded include deep, embodied breathing, doing an exercise routine that challenges you, or simply feeling the soles of your feet touch the ground. When engaging in the physical realm, make sure you’re truly grounded, and not simply “puttering around” or mindlessly running errands. True groundedness requires immediacy and stability with the earth beneath your feet.

Types Three, Seven, and Eight: Unplug

Stop making decisions, taking immediate action, and moving around, and take yourself on a journey to the inside. Connecting with your heart will give you deep intimacy with yourself and reconnect you to your own desires. Taking even a few minutes to pause every day, write in a journal, or share your feelings with someone you trust will help you feel connected to the world around you. This requires true unplugging: no looking at your e-mails or taking “important” phone calls! Really getting in touch with your heart involves slowing down enough to feel the raw emotional weight of what’s happening in your chest.

Types One, Two, and Six: Explore Curiously

Instead of sticking to a mindset of service, take some time to think about what it is you really value and want. Connecting with the mind will help you know yourself and gain clarity about what’s important to you in the world. Think about what interests you, what you want to know about in the world, and engage in research and exploration with no end agenda. This kind of curiosity requires a clear, quiet mind: meditation and mindfulness practices will help dissolve the mental clutter. Really knowing yourself and finding direction requires a clear head to radically accept reality exactly as it is.

Doing these practices will be unfamiliar and even scary at first, but as you get into a routine, you’ll feel better and more confidently engaged in life.


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Using the Instincts as an Accelerator for Growth

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Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

The Enneagram’s three Instincts describe unconscious drives that shape our behavior. Knowing about them is helpful for many reasons, from maintaining healthy relationships to getting your needs met in the workplace. Most importantly, working on the Instincts, even more than working on our type, can act as an accelerator for personal growth.

All of us have three Instincts – Self-Preservation, Sexual, and Social. The Instincts influence how we interact with the world to get our unconscious needs met. We all have a preferred order in which we use the Instincts, called an Instinctual Stacking; we have one Instinct we obsess over and tend to overuse (our Dominant Instinct), one secondary Instinct, and a tertiary Instinct we tend to underuse (our Blind Spot Instinct). When we bring our Instincts closer into balance, our lives follow suit.

“Great,” you might be thinking, “I’ll just stop obsessing over my Dominant Instinct.” That’s a challenging proposition, though, because our Instincts operate unconsciously. We tend to rely on our Dominant, assuming it will provide the solution to our problems. What works better is to work with our Blind Spot Instinct. It’s scary to work on the Blind Spot, because we feel inexperienced and incompetent in that area. However, it’s a game changer. By consciously focusing on Blind Spot activities we normally neglect, we develop new strategies and resources. Our lives become fuller as we realize that our potential is much broader than we’d imagined.    

Below, we describe how each Instinct works as a Blind Spot, and offer growth practices for bringing that Instinct into balance. We also share composite case studies of students we’ve worked with and strategies they’ve found to cultivate the Blind Spot Instinct’s strengths within.

The Self-Preservation Instinct: If the Self-Preservation Instinct is your blind spot, you probably have difficulty focusing on the day-to-day practicalities of life. You may not have a strong inclination toward activities such as establishing a home, taking care of your diet, or saving for retirement. You may frequently feel immature and like you need others to support you through even basic tasks. To balance this Blind Spot, take the time to explore and write down ways you neglect your comfort, well-being, and health, and make time to do one thing every day focused on maintaining your stability. Try to do this independently, without the help of other people!

Consider the case of Becky, who’s 50 and recently divorced. She had relied on her husband to manage household tasks and organization. Now on her own, she’s nervous about being self-reliant, and admits that she feels like “a kid rather than a grown-up.” She’s let her new apartment become cluttered and chaotic. With the help of a group of Enneagram brainstormers, she recognizes that she finds upbeat music to be a good motivator. She decides to set a weekly date for a solo “cleanup party” with rock music in the background. She feels more confident with her favorite songs on, and her cleaning parties become a fun, productive ritual.  

The Sexual Instinct: If the Sexual Instinct is your blind spot, you probably have a difficult time doing things that stimulate and energize you. You may tend to put off doing activities that are exciting to you, displaying your strengths to others, and pursuing your “selfish, impractical” passions. You may frequently feel like you’re stuck in a rut and caught in a boring, humdrum routine that you are unable to get out of. To balance this Blind Spot, take some time to explore and write down what things fuel and inspire you. Make time to do one thing every day that brings the energy back into your life and makes you feel your vibrant and colorful self.

DeMarcus is a 35-year-old accountant who has worked hard to establish a secure career and provide for his young family. Between working long hours, contributing to household chores, and caring for his toddler, DeMarcus feels tired and listless. His Enneagram group suggests reconnecting with an activity that inspires and energizes him. As a student, DeMarcus had enjoyed painting with splashy, colorful acrylics, but he’s let his hobby fall by the wayside in his efforts to be responsible. He decides to fit weekly “painting dates” into his schedule. He begins involving his wife and daughter, and their home is filled with new creativity.  

The Social Instinct: If the Social Instinct is your blind spot, you probably have a difficult time interacting with the world around you. You may tend to put off activities that involve connecting with others, participating in communities, and having fun for its own sake. You may frequently feel like you’re overly serious and can’t talk to others unless you need something from them. To balance this Blind Spot, take some time to write down ways you’d like to contribute to the world around you and support other people. Make time to have a fun interaction with no agenda every day or to do something that makes you feel part of the larger social fabric.

Sonia considered herself an introvert, but the truth went beyond that label. While the 43-year-old freelance writer had a job and home she was comfortable with, she also had a very narrow social circle. She described herself as “not knowing how to make small talk.” Her Enneagram group suggested she connect with other writers, so Sonia found a group that looked interesting. She started reading the books they talked about, and had fun discussing them with like-minded, intelligent peers. Soon she was getting invited to events and meeting more people. Her life was infused with a new sense of fun and freedom.

We all have an Instinctual Blind Spot, and moving toward rather than away from it can bring us a renewed sense of balance. What small, regular strategies can you apply to bring your Blind Spot Instinct’s joys and gifts into your life?


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Productivity Tips for the Enneagram Types

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Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

In this fast-paced world, productivity is an important skill to master. There is a lot to get done, and the more effectively we can do it, the closer we come to achieving our goals. Productivity skills can also support us in leading a more balanced life, working when we need to work and building in ample time for play and rest.

Let’s look beyond goal setting this month and into building greater productivity through life management skills. Here are some tips for each Enneagram type to hone their productivity that delve a little deeper than “just get it done.”

Type One: Aim for 90%. When stressed, you hold yourself to a higher standard than you need to, and beginning your work can seem arduous. Aiming for 90% in your work is a realistic – in fact a high – bar, and leaves you energy for necessary rest. Make this your new standard and you’ll find that tasks get accomplished more quickly.

Type Two: Limit your “people time” until you’ve accomplished goals. Under stress, you tend to get sidetracked from tasks by attending to relationships. Give yourself built-in structures such as time-limited meetings with others, or deadlines to accomplish non-interpersonal tasks. You’ll find plenty of time for relationship building if you stick to your schedule, and you’ll stay on top of the curve.

Type Three: Build thoroughness of process into your task completion. When stressed, you have a tendency to cut corners and focus on presenting a shiny facade. Instead, look to the minutiae of your work that not everyone will see. Getting everything done right, with plentiful attention to the details, will ensure your work is outstanding and you don’t have to mend any oversights.  

Type Four: Make commitments. When stressed, you lose focus on objective goals as the subjective world looms larger. Commit to specific outcomes in spite of fluctuating feelings, and keep yourself on track with reminders. Build time for subjective processing into your schedule, such as journaling before work every day, so you’ll have more clarity to meet your objectives.   

Type Five: Seek out new possibilities. When stressed, you become more narrowly focused, and may be productive in one area while neglecting others. Connect with colleagues and share what you’re each working on. Take on a project that deviates from your norm. Seeking out breadth in experiences will bring out the most productive side of your innovative thinking.

Type Six: Seek out support for achievements. When you’re under stress, you sometimes procrastinate by doing busywork while putting off necessary milestones. Use your relational skills to create mutual accountability with a friend, colleague, or group. Each of you can regularly remind the others of the tasks you need to get done, or you can work together on them.   

Type Seven: Create a limited time and space for new ideas. When stressed, you look toward future possibilities and don’t always finish present ones. You can mitigate this by having a set daily time (such as 20 minutes) and place (such as a notebook) for the new. When you have an inspiration for a new project, add it to your brainstorming book, set it aside for later, and refocus.

Type Eight: Block out time for reflection and strategy. It’s not a problem for you to act, but under stress, you can put the cart before the horse. Having time laid out to look at which long-range strategies are best for your goals will save you from making hasty, and potentially costly, choices. It may help to seek and consider input from others before you make decisions, as well.

Type Nine: Use affirmations to help with your confidence and productivity. When stressed, you tend to give yourself “dis-affirmations” – believing you aren’t ready, doubting whether this is something you really want to do, and so on. Countering with assertive mental words or pictures – “I can get it done,” “I’m committed to it” – will energize you toward your goals.   

These are just a few tips to get you started in building the complex life skill of enhancing your productivity. Seek out support from others with these strategies – finding the right cheerleaders or accountability buddies is helpful for all the types in developing productivity skills. You don’t need to do these perfectly; every baby step is an improvement. Happy productivity trails!


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Freedom for Each Enneagram Type

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Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

July marks the national holidays of both our home countries, Canada Day (on July 1st) and Independence Day (on the 4th of July). Our friends and families are coming together to celebrate freedom in a flurry of fireworks and picnics. But the idea of freedom transcends national borders.

Freedom is one of the things that first drew us to the Enneagram, a personality system with the power to shed light on our habitual ways of seeing and doing things, and in illuminating them, guide us to move beyond them. Freedom was what we felt the first time we caught ourselves acting out of habit and realized that we could choose to act differently. In the wise words of Victor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Here are some things that each Enneagram type to notice that show when your personality pattern is running the show, and tip you off to the possibility of greater freedom. Riso and Hudson call them your “wake-up call.” Notice when one of these habits arises in you, take a breath, and allow that space to free up new responses to the situation.

Type One: Something isn’t right, and it bugs you. Maybe there’s litter along the highway, or the spices are out of place on the rack. Notice when you feel that weight of obligation, and your inner voice says, “It’s my job to fix it. I’m the only one who cares.” It’s easier to respond proactively and gracefully once that tug loosens.  

Type Two: You care about someone so much that you want to develop a relationship… so you seek to win them over. Maybe you offer a gesture, a gift, or a complement. Notice when you feel that sense of leaning toward someone, and feel what’s going on with yourself. It’s easier to connect from a place where you are centered.

Type Three: Such a big world, with so many goals to strive for! People around you extoll getting promotions, shining on social media, and dressing just so… so you strive for those successes. Notice when you’re driving towards a goal, seeking a positive response from others. Can you find the freedom to pursue what matters to you deeply?  

Type Four: Speaking of shiny social media, how often do you find yourself looking at the qualities, accomplishments, and possessions of others and imagining how nice it would be to have them? Resenting them? Spinning personal stories of sorrow? Notice the feelings you’re embroidering and holding on to. Letting go brings freedom.

Type Five: You’ve figured out how to make sense of the world, or at least your area of expertise. Notice when you find yourself analyzing, using your favorite system to explain what’s going on, or theorizing and combining ideas – disconnected from reality. Reconnecting creates openness to brighter flashes of insight.  

Type Six: You feel uncertain about which path is right, until you encounter a person or system with a clear answer. When making a decision, you hear the voices of competing advisors in your head. Notice when you’re seeking guidance from something outside yourself. In allowing your inner guidance to emerge, you’ll find greater freedom.

Type Seven: You’re kayaking down the river, the sky clear above you, and all you can think about is how exciting that next trip is going to be. Tune in to the times when you’re anticipating the future, thinking of options that could be better and brighter. There’s freedom to be felt in the experience you’re having right now.

Type Eight: You sense that the world is tough, so you toughen up to deal with it. The boxing gloves come on and the energy you direct into the world amps up. Notice when you feel the need to fight to make things happen. In relaxing and trusting, your real strength can come through as you act freely.

Type Nine: You’re happiest when you feel like things are going smoothly, so it’s easy to go along with others and believe that will bring the harmony you want. Notice when you’re saying “yes” to things – is that the answer that you truly want to give, or would you prefer pizza over Chinese takeout this time?

Freedom isn’t a clear-cut thing, but you’ll know it when you feel it. There’s nothing like the awareness of when we’ve been running on autopilot, coupled with that sudden, shocking realization that now that we see our “programming” at play, we can choose to follow it or not. Options expand, and the horizon grows wider.


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Understanding the Levels of Development

levels of developmentCo-written with Kacie Berghoef

We all have times when we’re at our best – attentive, resilient, and able to handle whatever comes our way. We also have times when every little thing bugs us, and we find ourselves caught up in conflict at the drop of a hat.

Most Enneagram teachers, including us, believe that we each have a personality type that is probably set from an early age. Our Enneagram type gives us a core motivation and a way we desire to exist in the world. Sometimes, those of us who share an Enneagram type will also share similar ways of behaving in our environments. However, we also see a great deal of variation in how people with the same type behave, and in how we ourselves behave at different points in our life.

One of our Enneagram teachers, Don Riso (joined later by Russ Hudson), described much of this variation through the Levels of Development. Riso identified that each of the Enneagram types has nine different Levels of Health at which they can exist. All of us have days where we’re “on our game,” with an awareness and ability to respond to circumstances in a way that’s empowering. On the other hand, sometimes we have days that are more difficult, and say or do things we later regret. These Levels represent a range of attitudes and behaviors that exist in all of us, over the course of years or even in the same day! Understanding the Levels of Development helps us stay aware of how we’re doing, and catch ourselves when we dip lower than we’d like to.

Below is a brief summary of how The Enneagram Institute summarizes Healthy, Average, and Unhealthy Levels:

The Healthy Levels (Levels One, Two, and Three) – At the Healthy Levels of Development, we’re able to approach situations with awareness and compassion for ourselves and others. We have the ability to make decisions that are effective and beneficial. We embody our Enneagram type’s most positive qualities. When operating healthfully, we find ourselves acting and behaving in ways that contribute positively to our own lives and our communities around us. Most of us hope to attain the strong awareness and psychological health of Levels One-Three, and through our personal growth work and practices we can establish a baseline of functioning at these Levels.

The Average Levels (Levels Four, Five, and Six) – Average Levels of Development tend to encompass much of our everyday functioning. At these Levels, we’re often feeling good and managing our lives, but we don’t have the same degree of awareness as we do in the Healthy Levels. Riso and Hudson describe us as starting to operate on autopilot at these Levels, and our decisions are based on what we feel like we need to get our type’s motivations met. When we face challenges at Average Levels, we make decisions less mindfully, often saying and doing things to try to gain control over situations. These decisions may not be the best in the long term, and can cause strain on our relationships. The good news is, at Average Levels we still maintain some level of self-awareness, and respond to personal growth practices that help us regain healthy psychological functioning.

The Unhealthy Levels (Levels Seven, Eight, and Nine) – When we function at Unhealthy Levels, we lack self-awareness and make decisions completely on autopilot. At this point, our decisions have the potential to be destructive to ourselves and others. The good news is, most of us don’t operate here long-term. When someone stays in the Unhealthy Levels, it’s usually a reaction to severe crisis or trauma. At these Levels, we benefit from receiving support from a therapist or other trained professional.

It’s possible for all of us to learn to operate in a place that is psychologically healthy and aware! Through a combination of developing regular practices that challenge and inspire us, and finding a team of supporters in our goals, we can develop the attentiveness, functionality, and flexibility that characterize a shift up the Levels.

To learn more about how the Levels of Development work in all nine types, we recommend reading Personality Types, by Don Riso with Russ Hudson, or attending our Journey of Growth (Levels) Enneagram Institute Authorized Workshop.