Melanie Bell

Author, Writer, Editor


Leave a comment

Book review: A Consuming Fire by Laura E. Weymouth

“I don’t want to be an offering, she thought with a new and sharp urgency. I never have, nor a prayer, either. I will be a knife in the dark or nothing, no matter the cost.”

A Consuming Fire, Laura E. Weymouth

What would you do if a god killed your sister? For Anya Astraea, the answer is clear: set out to murder him in retaliation.

I’ve enjoyed Laura E. Weymouth’s books since I read the first one, a unique portal fantasy called The Light Between Worlds. Weymouth writes historical fantasy for young adults. Her debut novel is a poignant take on Narnia and the devastating emotional consequences of growing up in another world, then being sent back to this one. 

She has four books out now. Her latest is A Consuming Fire, and she was kind enough to share an ARC with me. 

Reader, I loved it. There’s a consistent theme of anger across her last two novels. Women’s anger. Righteous anger. The anger of people who are overlooked, underestimated, and trampled underfoot by oppressive structures and figures who hold excess power. The anger of the small in a big world who stand up one day and declare, “Enough.”

In A Consuming Fire, a town called Weatherell is expected to periodically send a girl as a living sacrifice to appease a hostile god. These “Weatherell girls,” as they are called, must offer up what the mountain god demands, whether it’s a valued body part or a core personality trait. Protagonist Anya is intimately familiar with the lives of these sacrificial women: her mother was one of them, giving up her hands, and now her bold and adventurous twin sister, Ilva, is determined to make the journey up the mountain.  

Ilva returns from the mountaintop drained of life force, and Anya watches her die. Another sacrifice is needed. But Ilva has made one last request of her sister: “Don’t let anyone else go.” And Anya, who’s long been incensed at the injustice of the system, is determined to follow that request. She sets off toward the mountain, not to offer herself to the god but to kill him.

Along the way, Anya falls in with a changeling thief and a group of others, including charming wanderers and a lovable dog, while playing a cat-and-mouse game with religious officials called the Elect who want to use her for their own ends. Everyone is hiding secrets of their own that, when revealed, will expand Anya’s understanding of her world. Ilva’s ghost remains a frequent visitor, urging her on and reminding her of her mission’s stakes. If she fails, countless girls will suffer; if she succeeds, she might spare others from suffering as her mother and sister did ever again. 

A Consuming Fire carries a foreboding undertone, with deft touches such as bone charms made from dead Weatherell girls adding to the atmosphere and sense that this world is askew. Psychological insight blends with lyrical phrasing and keenly felt emotion throughout. 

There are religious themes and features in this book that won’t be for everyone. After all, it is not set in a fantasy world but in an altered variant of the historical UK. But if you enjoy or don’t mind those aspects, you’ll find a lot to appreciate in the novel when it comes to the nature of power and agency. 

Come join Anya on her vengeful climb up the mountain and witness how powerful a woman wronged can become!


Leave a comment

Thoughts on the 2018 IEA Conference and Community

In July I attended and presented at the International Enneagram Association Global Conference in Cincinnati. I’ve been coming to the IEA conferences on and off for the past ten years, and have noticed a marked change in the last few. The early Enneagram conferences I attended focused heavily on individual growth, experiential practices (such as shamanic journeying and breathwork), and theory. Recently, there has been an increased emphasis on interrelationship and community building, with panels, discussions, and highly interactive talks. The theme for this year’s conference articulated this sentiment explicitly: Building Bridges: Collaborating in Community.  

The keynote address, by local author and consultant Peter Block, stands out as one of my favorite parts of the conference. His talk, “Community: The Structure of Belonging,” reached beyond the spiritual “icebreakers” I’ve experienced at many IEA sessions to facilitate small-group discussions that drew out people’s feelings around participation and reached beyond social niceties to a point of truth. He discussed ways to physically and socially restructure a room so that people are engaged with each other rather than in unquestioned power dynamics, and drew attention to the dangers of like-mindedness: how will we learn and grow if everyone in the room is thinking the same sorts of things?    

My friend Chloé Keric-Eli and I made our own strides toward collaboration beyond our comfort zones. We are each certified with one of the two leading Enneagram schools, The Enneagram Institute in my case and The Narrative Tradition in Chloé’s, and she noted to me last year that these two schools seldom have crossover. Chloé teaches in French while I teach in English, although we each speak both languages. We are both under 40, making us “young” teachers in the Enneagram field, which skews older than most professional realms. (I was pleased to see that the number of younger conference participants is growing; when I first began coming to these conferences, I was one of about four people under 30, and was actually told by one participant that the field was “dying out” because “we’re all fossils”!)

Another factor we had in common was growing up and living in different countries, leading to our presentation topic of “Where Culture Meets Type.” I learned a great deal from working with Chloé, a committed, enthusiastic facilitator whose style differs dramatically from my own. As an Enneagram Type Seven, she generates wide-ranging ideas; in contrast, I could witness and appreciate the critical, structured aspects of my own mind. We both gained valuable insights from our session participants. I was struck by their discussions about how they fit or didn’t fit within the cultures of their countries and families, and how these intersections had affected their lives.   

Another session I found particularly thought-provoking was Jessica Dibb and Deborah Ooten’s “Building Enneagram Communities That Last.” Both facilitators have succeeded at their session’s goal, with Jessica’s Inspiration Community in Baltimore and Deb’s Conscious Living Center in Cincinnati reaching many students and sustaining networks over the years. A cornerstone of this success is the acceptance and non-judgment they modeled from the front of the room. They encouraged facilitators not to “type” anyone for the next 30 days – an invitation toward this non-judgment – and led us in exercises that brought love and support to the forefront and had us reflect on our own challenges and engagement with communities, ending in an action step.

I appreciate that the IEA is thinking about questions of community. The Social Instinct has long been a blind spot in American culture. Contrived events and networking opportunities are created for “socializing” without reshaping the fundamental structures that might address true interpersonal needs, such as creating (or even acknowledging the importance of) social safety nets or genuine support networks. Many of us are isolated, with inner work movements such as the Enneagram often mirroring the individualistic focus we are accustomed to.

The challenge in moving an inner work sphere toward greater community engagement is to ensure it grows beyond the surface, reaching toward inclusivity without leaving other needs behind. In the spirit of Peter Block’s emphasis on asking “uncomfortable questions,” here are a few I am left with  in the wake of the conference. How can future conferences address the needs of all three Enneagram Instincts, providing comfort, stimulation, and interrelatedness in concert? How can the Enneagram reach demographics its teaching structures aren’t traditionally set up to reach, without changing their fundamental wisdom – or is fundamental change called for?

How can the Enneagram community be big enough to hold contradictory views and approaches, and do these contradictions point to a common aim? How can people work constructively with their types within their preexisting relationships, outside of conference or workshop settings? Who gets left out of the Enneagram, and how can this movement ensure that no one needs to be left out – that anyone who wants to participate, no matter how different from other participants, is included and worked with?   

I don’t have the answers. What I do have is a sense that these questions are important ones to grapple with. Perhaps, in searching for their answers, this work will have wider and truer impact.


Leave a comment

5 Benefits of Supporting Emerging Leaders

FullSizeRenderCo-written with Kacie Berghoef

In our Enneagram workshops, we’ve trained many emerging leaders, including younger professionals in their 20s and 30s, and people of all ages embarking on new careers. We really enjoy working with this demographic. Emerging leaders of different Enneagram types have unique talents to bring to the workplace. Initiators (Enneagram types 3, 7, and 8) bring energy and willingness to take risks. Soloists (types 4, 5, and 9) bring creativity and focus. Cooperators (types 1, 2, and 6) bring people skills and commitment to company culture. One thing they all have in common is that they’re eager to contribute to their fields and step into leadership roles.

In today’s businesses, there’s a trend toward hiring people with extensive experience and qualifications, rather than identifying and training emerging talent. One benefit of this strategy is that these hires are well-prepared to step into their new roles. On the downside, companies often overlook excellent potential hires. Emerging leaders and career transitioners bring fresh perspectives, energy, and great value to established organizations.

Here are five benefits of supporting emerging leaders, in your workplace and beyond.

1. Emerging leaders are flexible.
Newcomers to their fields are easily teachable, interested in learning, and readily adapt to the culture of the workplace. These qualities make them quick at adapting to changes in the industry and take on unconventional roles.

2. They offer new skill sets.
Younger professionals, as digital natives, are often particularly adept with technology and social media. Newcomers who have transitioned from a different industry bring valuable transferable skills from their past positions and an interdisciplinary outlook.

3. They bring innovative ways of thinking.
If there are aspects of a company or industry that aren’t working, or would otherwise benefit from changes, emerging leaders less entrenched in organizational or industry norms and culture are more likely to notice. They’re also more likely to think of out-of-the-box ways to make these changes.

4. They have time on their side.
Young leaders, especially, bring boundless energy, and have decades to grow in skill and contribute to their fields. Emerging leaders of all ages are interested in being mentored and taught new skills. You never know who will become a future CEO, or even revolutionize your industry.

5. They add to workplace diversity.
The most effective companies have workforce talent that includes people of diverse backgrounds and ages. This makes them better able to connect with different consumer demographics.

There are many ways that established professionals can support emerging leaders in their fields. One is by identifying and mentoring talent, and by leading from example. Newcomers to your field have a lot to learn from your real-world experience – and you’ll probably find they’ll be teaching you new things, too. Investing in growing and training new hires will pay off in ideas, energy, and colleagues who will keep contributing to your field long after the current leaders have retired.

Emerging leaders are among our favorite people to work with. They bring so much vision, great new ideas, and a desire to make a difference. Now is the time to invest in them, to ensure the future of your company.


Leave a comment

Understanding Your Family

goatsCo-written with Kacie Berghoef

Families are some of the most powerful relationships around. They’re the first relationships we’re involved in, and the patterns of interaction that we develop in our families shape the rest of our lives. We think it’s unlikely that parents or upbringing define Enneagram type; take any set of siblings and you’ll find that their view of the same childhood moments differs radically. However, our families have a lasting impact on our well-being. Healthy families increase children’s confidence and capacity for resilience, while unhealthy families make it harder for kids to develop these skills.

We can choose our partners, but for the most part, we don’t choose parents, siblings, children, and other relatives. Sometimes we have a lot in common with family members, and their differing skills and perspectives smoothly complement our own. Other times, we find ourselves diverging from the values of other family members, or being set off by their personality tics. For better or worse, families make great laboratories for learning how to get along with different kinds of people!

If you find yourself wondering why your mother has to go on about her health so much, or what possessed your teenager to get that tattoo, the Enneagram can help. By understanding what motivates our family members, we’re better able to connect with them. Instead of hoping to make them more like us, we can show up with attention, compassion, and hold space for family members to be the best versions of exactly who they are.

Here are some ways you can hold space for your family members of all Enneagram types:

Type One: The family Perfectionists, Ones are upstanding and lead the family by example, but can get critical when you diverge from their rules. Connect with the Ones in your family by encouraging them to have fun, and letting them know that you value them just as they are.

Type Two: Two Helpers seek to meet family members’ unstated needs through acts of service, caring, and sometimes intrusion. Connect with the Twos in your family by acknowledging the importance of their needs and showing them love no matter what they do.

Type Three: Three Achievers inspire their families. They often squelch their own desires by picking up on their family’s dreams and striving to become the family success story. Connect with the Threes in your family by guiding them to follow their own interests and desires.

Type Four: Four Individualists add soul to the family, and also bring shadows into the open – making sure families can’t forget things they don’t want to acknowledge. Connect with the Fours in your family by taking responsibility for the past, and holding emotional steadiness.

Type Five: Five Investigators bring rich expertise to their families, but may be difficult to engage otherwise. Connect with the Fives in your family by allowing them the space they need, while nurturing them in developing emotional connections with others.

Type Six: Six Loyalists show steadfast commitment to family, but may test family members for loyalty, and sometimes rebel. Connect with the Sixes in your family by showing them that you’re trustworthy and devoted, while being steady and clear with your boundaries.

Type Seven: Seven Enthusiasts stir up excitement and make family gatherings fun, but may act out when they get bored and frustrated. Connect with the Sevens in your family by savoring joy together – especially mindful, everyday joy – and supporting them during the hard times.

Type Eight: Eight Challengers are protective of family members but sometimes also push to exert control over the family. Connect with the Eights in your family by showing strength and solidity, but also allowing them to be vulnerable and lean on you when they need to.

Type Nine: Nine Peacemakers create a harmonious, cohesive family environment, which sometimes means they sweep problems under the rug. Connect with the Nines in your family by sharing pleasant times, while encouraging them to speak up and assert their needs.


1 Comment

Bringing the Enneagram to Teens

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Having learned the Enneagram at a young age, bringing the Enneagram to more young people remains a topic close to our hearts. For teenagers, the Enneagram opens a door to improving relationships with parents and friends, and feeling seen for who you are–a person with thoughts, feelings, and needs independent from those around you. It gives a language to describe your viewpoint to the people who matter to you, and helps in making decisions about the direction you want your life to take.

When we were teenagers discovering the Enneagram, wonderful books existed about this system–Melanie has fond memories of holing up in the college library, browsing the “Enneagram corner”–but none of them focused on people our age. The vast majority of our peers were not familiar with the Enneagram, leaving us largely to teach it to them.

Elizabeth Wagele’s latest book, The Enneagram for Teens, has the potential to change this. Wagele previously wrote an Enneagram book aimed at children, but as far as we know, this is the first book exclusively oriented to a teenaged audience. In this fun and clearly-written read, Wagele writes in an engaging manner that teens are sure to enjoy. Wagele’s cartoons, both illustrative of the types and entertaining, grace most of the pages of her book. Wagele dedicates a chapter to each of the nine types, and a final chapter depicts each type’s leadership style. Wagele describes each type in a way that is easy to grasp, with examples most relatable to high school and college-aged readers.

Wagele excels at creating material that connects with the target audience. Each type chapter offers a quiz made of statements that come directly from teenagers–a refreshingly clear and direct approach. (You might be a Six if you “want to be safe and to be told the truth.”) Wagele also offers practical goals for self-development tailored to teens of each type.

The heart and soul of Wagele’s book comes from the primary source material. In each chapter, she interviews several people from each Enneagram type, both teens and young adults looking back on their experience. The subjects Wagele interviews provide a diverse cross-section of perspectives. Some, such as a type One rebel, do a welcome job of defying personality stereotypes, while others give a well-rounded sense of each Enneagram type’s strengths and challenges. Especially affecting is one Three exemplar’s memory of telling the principal her team had lost a tournament as she received her diploma–“That’s all I ever think about when I think about high school graduation.” It should be easy for readers to hear their own experiences mirrored in the young voices in the book.

We believe The Enneagram for Teens is a wonderful resource for teenagers and college students first learning about the Enneagram, as well as parents hoping to get into the shoes of their teens. Our own experiences of encountering the Enneagram young were pivotal: for example, Kacie finally understood her parents’ perspectives and why they were different from her own, and Melanie learned strategies to manage her emotions. Wagele’s book has great potential to more widely engage young people in learning the Enneagram. We hope this book will help young Enneagram enthusiasts connect with each other!


1 Comment

The Enneagram and Young Adults

P1020354Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

When we first began attending Enneagram conferences, we were surprised to discover that young adults studying the Enneagram were almost as rare as unicorns! We’d love for that to change, and hope to bring more young people into the community. We were both lucky to discover the Enneagram at a young age, and it offered a level of support that we wouldn’t have had otherwise. It was like having a secret key to unlocking our strengths and understanding other people.

Young people face a lot of challenges. At that age, so many of us feel misunderstood and like we don’t fit in. We get into conflict with our parents. We struggle to find our footing as we first strike out on our own. The Enneagram can be useful in all of these situations.

Young people offer a fresh perspective to Enneagram work. They bring a wonderful openness to learning (as long as it’s interesting!). They’re in a great place to start observing themselves and noticing what their usual patterns are, laying a foundation for a self-aware life. Given the ever-shifting nature of the young adult years, they’re also in a place where they want to make change.

Here are some tips for teaching the Enneagram to young people:

  • Contextualize the Enneagram to the person’s age group. For example, if they’re in college, show them how the Enneagram can help them choose a major and make empowering career decisions.
  • Introduce the idea of observing yourself and being aware of your patterns in an approachable, relatable way. Give concrete examples of how this can be helpful in your audience’s daily life.
  • Break the material up with interactive exercises, and give everyone a chance to speak.
  • Remember when working with younger people that the brain is still developing until about age 25, which may impact how they learn and apply the material.
  • Make it fun! 🙂

We’d like to see more people get the opportunity to learn the Enneagram at a young age, and are excited to be part of this movement!