Tag: relationships

  • Taking Care of Ourselves and Each Other

    The coronavirus pandemic has affected all of us, though not equally. Those communities that are most marginalized have been hardest hit. Different parts of the world are facing different trajectories of recovery and reinfection. Here in the UK, some restrictions remain (there’s no skating at the skating rink) while others have been lifted (some travel…

  • Lessons on Writing Relationships… from Romance Novels

    Feedback on the first draft of a fiction manuscript I’ve been working on for a while, while positive in other aspects, suggested that the characters’ relationships lacked a certain spark. So, while working on the second draft, I turned to a genre that models relationship writing: romance. Romance writing is a realm where constraint fuels…

  • Our Favorite Enneagram Resources

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef In our years of Enneagram teaching and learning, we’ve had the benefit of many wonderful resources. With the Enneagram growing in popularity, there are books, videos, courses, apps, and a plethora of other options for learning about its many applications. Writing our book The Modern Enneagram gave us an opportunity to…

  • What Real Love Is and What We Mistake for It

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef As Valentine’s Day rolls around, we are surrounded by images of love. Some of these are commercial, like sentimental cards and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates. Some of them are idealized cultural expectations, such as flowers or romantic dates. The prevalence of these images reminds us of an inner truth: that we…

  • Network Well by Using Your Instincts

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef Most of us know the famous saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Whether you’re employed, looking for work, an entrepreneur, or some combination of the above, there’s no doubt that networking and relationship building are instrumental in professional success. The research shows that strong networking skills not…

  • How Each Enneagram Type Can Boost Their EQ

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef Emotional intelligence is a key concept in many of today’s workplaces, and has been named one of the decade’s most influential business ideas by the Harvard Business Review. But what exactly does it mean, and why is it important? Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence or “EQ” (as…

  • Why Self-Awareness Matters

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef If you were a Greek citizen in the 4th century B.C., traveling to the Temple of Apollo at Delphi to listen to the Oracle’s wisdom, you’d find this inscription on the wall: “Know thyself.” In more recent years, self-awareness gets less press than flashier qualities like ambition and charisma. However, it…

  • Understanding Your Family

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef Families are some of the most powerful relationships around. They’re the first relationships we’re involved in, and the patterns of interaction that we develop in our families shape the rest of our lives. We think it’s unlikely that parents or upbringing define Enneagram type; take any set of siblings and you’ll…

  • Getting Your Needs Met in Relationships

    Co-written with Kacie Berghoef We all know wonderful relationships where opposites attract. For example, one person might tend to the home and hearth, while the other cultivates the couple’s circle of friends. When both people appreciate each other’s contributions, their connection thrives! The whole becomes more than the sum of its parts. But sometimes it’s…