This month I start the new adventure of living in London. I’ve been offered an editing job and am looking forward to this next phase of immersion in the culture of the UK. Depending on whether you count England and Scotland as one country or two, this is either my third or fourth country of residence. Even though the countries I’ve lived in have largely spoken the same language, English, the cultural differences have brought new learnings every time.

On July 20, I’ll be presenting with my friend Chloe Keric-Eli on “Where Culture Meets Type” at the IEA Global Conference. We’ve had a lively collaboration, switching between English and French and sharing deep-rooted stories about the impact of our cross-cultural backgrounds on our very different personalities. While similar personality types are found in individuals from country to country, cultures have their own stories that shape acceptable forms of expression for the people who live in them. Moving to another country is jarring for these social reasons just as much as reasons of geography and distance. Suddenly the people around us expect us to follow a script that we’ve never encountered before. The more deeply we become immersed in another culture, the more we are changed, yet the more we come to see the ways our own native cultures have shaped us. Here are some of the insights into the influence of cultural narratives that I’ve discovered, which our presentation will cover in more depth.  

Our culture’s stories tell us who we “should” be.
Growing up in Canada, the narrative of a “good person” revolved around contributing to the community. A “good person” volunteered and helped others. News outlets’ favorite feel-good stories were all about citizens coming together to support each other during tragedies. I learned that support was available, and if I had a goal in mind, I learned that connecting it to the common good in some way was the best way to accomplish it. Upon moving to the US, I encountered a different type of “good person” narrative. Even in the wildly liberal San Francisco, many of the feel-good stories focused on individual accomplishment. “Everyone is in this together” did not pervade life in the same way and individuals were encouraged to go after what they wanted, no matter how big or ambitious. In fact, big and ambitious were often considered “good.” My behavior changed accordingly.  

These same stories tell us who we “shouldn’t” be.
Every value has a shadow side, and for every trait that one culture encourages, sometimes in nurturing and sometimes in unbalanced ways, there is another culture that discourages its expression. Taking as an example the American value of individual achievement, countries like Australia discourage “tall poppies” for standing out too much and acting arrogant. Some of us find our own culture to be a natural fit for our personality, while others discover that the way they tend to express themselves and the way their culture wants them to express themselves differ drastically. Each culture has certain personality types it privileges, while others find themselves at a disadvantage. It can be rough to be a straightforward sort in a diplomatic, indirect culture, or to be an introvert in a milieu that rewards extroversion. If aspects of our temperament conflict with what our culture tells us to be, we may feel there is something wrong with us. 

Our culture frames what’s possible.
In Canada, one airline dominates the vast majority of flights, and they don’t come cheap. The country is sprawling and takes a long time to cross. In the UK, you can fly to multiple countries quickly and inexpensively. Western Europe encompasses a lot of countries packed into a small space, and budget carriers more akin in their service to buses than North American planes “hop” between them. Jobs in the United Kingdom are also mandated to give more time off, during which employees often travel. For these straightforward economic and geographical reasons, it’s common for the Scots and Brits I’ve met to take holidays during their long weekends to destinations such as the beaches of Spain. Just as the culture we live in dictates vacation possibilities, it also influences our language(s), fashion, food, career, and how we see ourselves. Certain ways of living, being, and even dreaming are facilitated by some cultures more than others.

Just like knowing our personality type, understanding our culture is a way of knowing ourselves better. When we learn how many of our default assumptions are culturally defined, we open the door to appreciating and witnessing the unique values and insights of cultures that differ from our own.