Melanie Bell

Author, Writer, Editor

Tag Archives: goal setting


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New Year, New Attempts at Hard Things

Image: MSGT Jon Nicolussi, U.S. Air Force, 2003.

Goal setting is a topic that’s attracted a long-time blend of fascination and skepticism from me. I often set and try to achieve goals. Sometimes they go well. Other times, the results… well, they make good stories!

Anecdotally, I’ve seen that achieving things is usually a process, and successes tend to have invisible trails of “failures” behind them. I’ve had feedback that others have liked my blogs about the process of trying new things and the stumbling blocks I’ve encountered along the way. So, here are a couple of things I’ve been trying and stumbling over this year.

Personal Training

In November, I began working with a personal trainer. I’ve maintained an exercise habit for years, as it clearly helps with my physical and mental health, but this is the first time I’ve sought personalized guidance. I wanted to have an exercise plan that I could do at home, which would help me build skill and strength from where I was. I felt like I’d only gotten so far with the “DIY” approach. And, as a former chosen-last-in-gym kid, I lacked physical confidence.   

My trainer, Kat Saunders, created a feeling of psychological safety. She was encouraging and nonjudgmental. Also, our initial assessment showed I had reasonable strength in most areas, contrary to my low expectations, though I had some things to work on. That was a relief, affirming that my years of imperfect yet regular exercise had a tangible effect.

I had a shaky, anxious start. I committed longer than the single month I’d intended, then freaked out at one point, thinking I wasn’t seeing the changes I’d hoped for, and it was all useless. But I needed to give things a little more time and to have an external assessor (Kat, in this case) show me changes I couldn’t see myself.

After two months, my trainer assessed me again. My body is more balanced, and my posture has visibly improved. I saw an 18% increase in the weight I could lift. These changes in physicality have improved my confidence, and I’ve found more ease when attempting new physical activities. I’ve committed to a group of monthly training sessions following my two months of weekly ones. I look forward to seeing how they go.

Treats for Trying

Effort and results don’t always match. I’m sure most of us have experiences of trying hard and getting nowhere, and other times when, for example, we quickly paint a blob on canvas and hear, “That’s such a good painting!”

I’ve set myself writing goals and a schedule this year. It requires effort and patience. It’s not always fun, and there’s no guarantee of “success” in terms of external markers. But, of course, there’s no chance of these “successes” happening without putting in that time and effort.

I find it hard to feel proud of myself for trying: “What if all I’m doing is wasting time?” So, I’m recognizing my efforts with rewards.

It started as a joke. Duolingo was spamming me with emails about learning a new language in the new year. I’ve been practicing Spanish in other ways since taking a course last year, but I told myself, “I’ve been working hard on my writing goals. I can have a little Duolingo, as a treat!”

Why does language learning feel like a “treat”? Because it’s easy! (Well, languages may not be, but the gamified Duolingo format is.) Because it’s a regular way to recognize my regular efforts at the harder things. And because it’s not tied to a specific goal or outcome. It’s nice to hear exaggerated praise from that little green owl, and if it stops feeling rewarding, I’ll do something else. 

I’ve thought long and hard about what feels like a reward to me. I can say something is a reward, but it doesn’t work unless it feels like one. Ease and frivolity make things feel rewarding. If I need it (like food, clothes, rest, or socialization, no matter how fancy their forms), it doesn’t feel like a treat.

I’ve started a list of things that do feel treat-like. I’m “treating myself” regularly to recognize my regular efforts. I bought a cookbook after finishing a project. Did I need it? No. But I allowed myself to get that thing I wanted.

I’m rewarding my impatient self for cultivating patience. And I’m rewarding myself with things that aren’t tied to goals, so they feel transgressively luxurious, but positive. So far, it’s been a motivating strategy, so I plan to continue with it, keeping an adaptive mindset and seeing how it goes.


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Support Emerging Writers (and Me) in the Clarion West Write-a-Thon

How is July going for you? Mine is quite busy. Things are opening up more locally and my book projects are moving forward. My short story collection Dream Signs now has a release date – September 16th! I can’t wait to see it as a real book out in the world. One of the stories in the book, “A Limit to Growth,” is included in The Fiddlehead’s Summer Fiction issue (available for order here). It’s about math, art, and a jaded fortysomething woman who goes on a cybersex chat site.

I’m participating in Clarion West’s Write-a-Thon this month. If you aren’t familiar with the name, Clarion West is a speculative fiction writer’s organization that runs a six-week yearly workshop and offers other forms of writing education and support. Their mandate is to “support emerging and underrepresented voices by providing writers with world-class instruction to empower their creations of wild and amazing worlds.” I attended some of their online offerings during lockdown and enjoyed them very much. Several of my favorite writers teach there, have studied there, or both. In short, they’re doing fantastic work. 

The Write-a-Thon is two things: an inspiring community for writers and a fundraiser for Clarion West. Anyone can sign up to participate and get access to talks from writers, a Slack channel to chat about your craft, and more. The Write-a-Thon runs until the end of July and you can sign up here to participate. 

My goals for the Write-a-Thon this month are to write two new pieces, send out three submissions, and set up two events for the launch of Dream Signs this fall. If you’d like to support Clarion West’s work with emerging writers, or cheer on my writing goals by tossing a coin to your Witcher, you can do so on my Write-a-Thon profile here: Sponsor a writer. 

And if you’d like a sneak peek at my story “A Limit to Growth”, read on:

When I was ten, I resolved to marry the first man who didn’t laugh at me for carrying math books around the beach. I’d explain to him about factors, how beautiful it is to look inside a larger number and see what groupings make it up, what small parts combined to make it breathe. I’d tell him there are patterns everywhere—in tree branches, in sand dunes, in the veins of our bodies—and math is one way to access their secrets. The power of numbers could course through us with the rhythm of the incoming sea, and we would know infinity. Until then, I’d keep this love to myself, nestled close like a tiny animal.        

It’s been three decades now, and the math outlasts the men every time. After Alan, John and Dan, I gave up on love and tried the sleeping-around thing. I’ve watched man after man melt to sweat in the evening, and my memories of them are ephemeral. There are only so many you can wake up beside without confusing their names, only so many off-centre attempts at pleasuring you can endure with a straight face, only so many times you can consent to faking it and only so many times you can be accused of faking it when you absolutely aren’t and only so many times you can tolerate a stranger calling you Sweetie before you’re looking more forward to a cup of mulled cider at your place than another encounter.


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Book Review: The Four Tendencies

My January blog posts attest to my fascination with New Year’s resolutions, the goals and intentions that some of us set each year in the hope of making the coming year (or ourselves) better. After the coronavirus pandemic dashed many of our plans for 2020, I wonder how many of us will make resolutions this year. Maybe some of us will focus on taking care of ourselves and each other during this difficult time, or on just being ourselves. But for those who share my perverse fascination with goal setting and change, I found a book this year that offered me some valuable perspective.   

I first encountered Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework years ago, took her quiz online, and promptly forgot about it. Then, during England’s second lockdown this year, a mention of the book prompted me to look it up again. I was struggling with some changes I wanted to make in my new, working-from-home life, but I wasn’t making them. I didn’t know how. I asked myself, not for the first time, “Why can’t I change? Why can’t I get myself to do the things I know I should do? Why do I let myself down?”

Enter Gretchen Rubin, who has written books on happiness and habit formation, and maintains a popular happiness-focused podcast. She created the Four Tendencies framework after observing differences in how people respond to expectations. One of her friends was able to run with a track team but not by herself, for example.

The Four Tendencies book posits two different types of expectations: inner expectations, or the goals and standards we have for ourselves, and outer expectations, or the things that other people and external systems expect us to do. Rubin found that people respond to these different expectations in four different, and predictable, ways. 

The people she calls Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations. Questioners meet inner expectations and question outer expectations, choosing to do what others expect only when it makes sense to them. Obligers (like her friend who wanted to go running) meet outer expectations but not inner expectations, while Rebels resist both sets of expectations. There’s a lot more detail about how these four categories work in the book, as well as on Rubin’s website.

Rubin’s book offers thorough chapters about what each tendency means and how it works, along with chapters on dealing with each tendency. Like books on the Enneagram, the personality system I’ve been using for over a decade, it can be read as a self-help book, and/or used to understand how to work with other people. Medical personnel, for instance, have used her work to motivate people with different tendencies to follow their recommendations. 

Helpfully, the book begins with a quiz for identifying your tendency. From there, if you’re an Upholder, you’ll discover ways to manage “tightening up” and learn how following rules can paradoxically bring freedom. If you’re a Questioner, you’ll find tips for overcoming analysis paralysis and finding reasons for doing those irrational things you need to do. If you’re an Obliger, you’ll learn about how outer accountability is key for you – and how to build it into different areas of your life to do the things that you want to do, rather than burning yourself out by doing what others want. And if you’re a Rebel, like me, you’ll learn about motivating yourself by following personal desires and identity, and how to cultivate a sense of freedom in meeting goals rather than obligation.

I love how the Four Tendencies is a practical and focused framework for change. The book offers strategies that work with our “autopilot settings,” and thus it might be called ego supportive. Yes, we can all be more mindful and present, but the book’s suggestions don’t require that. It meets us where we are and gives us how-to’s for accomplishing what we want to accomplish.   

As useful as the Enneagram has been for me, it’s a descriptor, not a toolkit. It suggests that as someone whose personality follows the Type Four “Individualist” pattern, I benefit from bringing discipline and structure into my life, but it doesn’t give any nuts and bolts about how to create structure, or how to get myself to follow it. The Four Tendencies actually gave me some of those nuts and bolts. 

When it comes to change management, different people have different needs. I’ve spent a lot of time hoping to find a perfect source of accountability to get me to act differently, so it’s a relief to learn that accountability isn’t an effective strategy for me – it just feels like pressure, which I then resist. I’m equally recalcitrant with myself, declaring that I’m going to do something while an internal voice intones “Yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna.” Since reading this book, I’ve focused on taking power back into my own hands. Rubin writes, “Rebels can do anything they want to do.” The key for me is to focus on wanting rather than having to. When a sense of determination drives me, I know that I’m going to get that thing done. When I hear “Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,” I either let myself off the hook or dig deeper until I find that sense of determination.  

2020 brought a lot of events we had no control over, and 2021 is looking to unfold in much the same vein. If you’re looking for a book about making changes that are within your control, The Four Tendencies is a good one.


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My First NaNoWriMo, or How I Wrote a Novella in a Month

I’ve posted before about NaNoWriMo, but until 2020, it was one of those things I’d thought about but never attempted. I was usually busy, and more crucially, I’ve never been fast. I’ve completed novel manuscripts, but writing 50,000 words in a month seemed like a daunting task. I was happy to cheer on other, more ambitious writers from the sidelines. 

This year I spent November in lockdown. It seemed like the perfect time to give the challenge a go. I had a few opening chapters of a novella lurking in my folders, waiting for me to finish it, and I decided that NaNoWriMo would be my motivation to do that. I wasn’t sure if I’d write the full word count, but I saw other writers blogging and posting on social media about the progress they made from participating, whether or not they met that tally mark. Some used it to revise or meet other goals, like I intended to do. The tent seemed expansive and friendly.

This manuscript is the first time I’ve tried to write romance as a central focus. It’s also the first time I’ve attempted a novella, although I’ve thought at points that it might turn into a novel. It started out with two points of view, but feedback from a reader suggested that one was far more interesting than the other, so I rewrote the first part to focus on that character. I scrapped my outline and wrote by the seat of my pants, coming up with some of my ideas on long morning runs. It turned out that letting my mind wander while exercising was a great way to find inspiration.

What worked for me? Not, it turned out, joining online communities or engaging with the many passionate writers posting in great detail on forums and chat rooms. It’s wonderful to see so many passionate people creating, and I’d expected to find it motivating, but instead it gave way to something like Zoom fatigue. I joined a few groups and quickly became overwhelmed. Instead, I focused on the story I was telling. Maybe I’d socialize about it later, when it was done.

Complicating things, I had some serendipitous work projects come up for the month, so my time wasn’t as open as I’d expected. My writing stopped and started around other commitments that I didn’t want to forego. What helped throughout all that was writing regularly, in little bits almost every day. I felt closer to my characters’ lives. It was a challenge to write a new kind of story in a new genre, but word by word, it came together. 

I allowed my usual writing process to take the forefront, editing as I go. That’s usually seen as a “no-no” for writers during speed events like this one, but when I tried to draft with more of a stream of consciousness, I missed letting my editorial mind improve things. I’m an editor by trade, and it turns out that I value letting that skill set shape my work. It makes the next draft smoother.

The last day was a milestone. I’d set a 25,000-word novella mark by that point and wasn’t sure if I’d achieve that word count or finish the draft. Animated by the frenzy of a student with a due date, I wrote into the evening. The story wanted to tell itself. It knew where it was going. Soon, I reached the end.

It helped to have a deadline. 

I’m delighted to have given NaNoWriMo a try and met my personal goal. It was a great experience, and one I hope to repeat. NaNoWriMo writers out there, how did things go for you?


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The Bestseller Experiment: Can You Write a Bestselling Book in a Year?

For two years, I’ve wanted to go to London Book Fair. This year I was finally going to get there, accompanying colleagues to look after ICE Publishing’s stand, network, and learn. Then, as you can probably guess, the fair was cancelled due to the coronavirus. The sound reason did not dim my disappointment. Despite the cancellation, though, I got one good thing out of the London Book Fair: acquaintance with the Bestseller Experiment. 

When reading through the list of Insights Seminars planned for the fair, I saw that there was a live episode planned for the Bestseller Experiment podcast. The name intrigued me. A bestseller is a big promise. What could a “bestseller experiment” be and how did it work? I looked the podcast up and discovered it was created by two British men, both named Mark, who sought to write, edit, publish, and market a bestselling book in a year. What an awesomely audacious goal! I began listening, and soon I was hooked. 

The pair of podcasters make appealing foils for each other. Mark Stay is a seasoned writer, with a novel and movie to his name, and a veteran employee of the traditional publishing industry. With the benefits and cynicism of experience, he acts as the podcast’s pessimist, skeptical of the likelihood of success but game to go forward. Mark Desvaux, a Canada-based life coach who’d started books prior to the podcast but hadn’t finished them, is the pair’s optimist, bringing enthusiastic belief in their success and a sense of spirituality to offset his co-host’s national outlook. It’s fun to listen to the two Marks bouncing off each other. What really makes the podcast shine, though, is the caliber of its interviews. 

From the get-go, Mark and Mark interview industry professionals and bestselling authors of both traditional and indie titles. They set out to find the “secret sauce” that makes a book or an author into a bestseller, speaking to the likes of Bryan Cranston, Joanne Harris, Joe Abercrombie, Michelle Paver, Shannon Mayer, and professionals from NaNoWriMo, Kindle Direct Publishing, authors, agents, editors, and more. All the interviewees speak lucidly and eloquently about their craft and share a wealth of knowledge about the industry. Their writing journeys differ, from those who have worked in obscurity for years before having a sales or publishing “breakthrough” to early success stories, from those who hate revision to those who love it, but all share a belief in writing success because they have all experienced it. Every episode I’ve listened to so far has been worth the time, and all have left me with a feeling of hope.  

What bestselling secrets has the podcast shared? So far, the interviewed authors share a belief in taking yourself seriously as a writer (most of them write every day and set themselves word counts), having deadlines (I share their experience of writing faster when somebody gives me a due date), and writing about topics that matter to you. Again and again, the authors reiterate that you can’t write a bestseller cynically, and that good books come out of love of the subject you’re writing about. Many of them recommend go-to books on the craft of writing, and some share marketing tips. Editors and agents encourage writers not to worry about trends and to write what they’re interested in. The need for self-care when writing is also explored.  

The Marks also share the stages of their journey in writing a book. In one of my favorite episodes, Ben Aaronovitch tells them off for writing a 50,000-word “outline”! I also enjoyed listening to the Marks discuss an editor’s critique of their manuscript. Since they wrote about a female protagonist, the editor suggested using a female pseudonym, and I’m pleased to note that they succeeded without one (though Mark Desvaux used the shorter pen name ‘Mark Oliver’). It’s no spoiler to note that the Marks indeed wrote and self-published a Kindle bestselling novel in a year. Back to Reality is a fast-paced story about time-travel, body swapping and the lives one could have lived. Its success doesn’t surprise me given the excellence of the Marks’ podcasting platform, but it does make me smile. They did it! And the podcast is still going and growing, with many of their listeners publishing books including more bestsellers. If you’ve ever dreamed of writing a bestseller, you might enjoy listening to it, too. Thank you, London Book Fair!   


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Following The Artist’s Way Again, Over 10 Years Later

Five pelicans groom themselves in St. James’ Park, London, during one of my Artist Dates.

During the first year of my undergraduate studies, I encountered a book called The Artist’s Way. A classmate who’d completed a visual arts program told me about the volume and how his class had used it at art school. Julia Cameron’s book has sold over 3 million copies and inspired countless artists, but this was my first encounter with it. I was intrigued by my friend’s stories of how the book inspired an outpouring of productivity and gave him the courage to use masses of high-quality paint rather than being stingy. I wanted to check this book out myself.

I found a copy of The Artist’s Way in a used bookstore. One of my classes at the time involved a project in which we all found something we’d always wanted to do and did it. I’d always wanted to paint, and I used this book as inspiration. I started writing Morning Pages, following Cameron’s practice of writing three pages longhand every morning in which you vent, brainstorm, and babble. I went on Artist Dates, inspiring solo outings, though I no longer remember where I went. 

I did Cameron’s exercises, listing activities I’d always wanted to do and “secret selves” who reflected aspects of my personality that I didn’t typically express. To be candid, I only made my way partway through the book, but by the end of the year, I had in fact learned to paint. I hung some of my pieces in my dorm room, and painting entered the repertoire of arts I practiced and believed myself capable of doing. I also tried out other art forms, writing a good song and a not-as-good-but-still-finished musical. The Artist’s Way, even imperfectly followed, was a wellspring of inspiration. Once the year ended, inspired and enlivened, I moved on.

Near the end of 2019, over a decade later, an intriguing call for submissions got me writing a fantasy short story on the commute to and from my editing job. I got started but alternated between chipping away at the story and sitting there with a muddled, unproductive brain. I wanted to keep up my momentum, to keep writing, so I found myself picking up a tool I hadn’t used in years: the Morning Pages. 

On mornings when my brain wasn’t up to the task, I used my time on the London tube to ramble in my notebook about what was happening in my life. From there, spurred on by seeing a friend posting about The Artist’s Way on social media, I began to follow the book in earnest. My story coaxed me into taking a second walk down the Artist’s Way. 

A lot has changed since my first half-finished use of Cameron’s tools. I’ve moved from the creatively nurturing nest that my university provided for me to the daily routine of a full-time job, moving in a circuitous path that’s included freelancing, multiple careers, and entrepreneurship. I’ve lived in three different countries. I’ve published a successful book and dozens of short pieces. Having come from a place of early success, I’ve also become very familiar with failure. I’ve been prolific at times, blocked at times, and overly reticent with submissions. The drive of creative inspiration has at many points given way to the need to get things done. 

This need has given me a new perspective on The Artist’s Way. I’m discovering that it is, in fact, an ingenious organizational tool. The Morning Pages remind me of forgotten items to check off my to-do list and help me organize my creative projects. Sometimes bits of writing emerge from the pages, but more often than not they resemble vacuuming – getting the mind clean and ready for work. The Artist Dates have taken me on walks around the neighborhood where I work, enjoying the splendors of Buckingham Palace and St. James’ Park, becoming familiar with the birds and flowers there. For some, Artist Dates bring a welcome sense of adventure. For me, they’ve brought a deeper connection and grounding in my surroundings.  

The first time I tried The Artist’s Way, I was much closer to being that “artist child” that Cameron wants her readers to reconnect with inside themselves. I was less familiar with the challenges of the marketplace and had largely received encouragement in my writing and creative pursuits. I’d experienced the sting of some failures, but not on the scale that adulthood would bring. With this context, the encouragement offered by The Artist’s Way has been much more powerful the second time around. 

Engaging with the book’s exercises has not been easy. They’ve opened old wounds and questions about my future. However, the changes have been profound. I’d expected to discover an exotic array of new interests or begin engaging with new art forms the way I did last time. Instead, my inner voice piped up loud and clear that I want to write and need to fight for that desire. 

I was reminded of being eight years old and imagining that I would someday write all the things I read – mystery novels, advertisements, nature magazines, newspapers, everything! I remembered submissions that got lost and wondered why I hadn’t followed up. I became determined to follow that voice urging me to write all kinds of things, write what’s fun, and not put limits on myself. It’s okay that I want to be focused right now, that I don’t want to crochet or make a podcast. It’s okay that I’m scared to fail over and over. I’m determined to listen to my inner voice and honor that eight-year-old’s dreams. 

So, what’s changed in my life since beginning my second journey with The Artist’s Way? I’ve written a short story and several poems, begun a novella in a new genre, finished revising a manuscript and submitting it to my first round of agents, and embarked upon a “100 submissions a year” challenge. (I’m going for submissions rather than rejections because it’s a concrete goal within my control. One of these has already turned into an acceptance, and I’m certainly not sulking about it!) 

I’ve taken the initiative to create a blog for authors at my job. I’ve come up with several ideas for potential writing projects. I’ve started learning about linguistics and spent a morning picking up a few phrases in Swahili. I’ve gotten back in touch with some old friends, reached out to my great-aunt about family recipes, and grown very familiar with the pelicans of St. James’ Park. Fear, realism, and cynicism tango with hope and the excitement of infinite possibilities. Here I stand, in the middle of the Artist’s Way, and this time I’m determined to make it to the end.

Have you tried The Artist’s Way? What was your experience like?


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This New Year, Be Yourself

Every year around late December and early January, I see posts on social media about new year’s resolutions. I’ve made a bit of a tradition of writing about this phenomenon, whether it’s giving tips about setting effective goals by being more specific or reflecting on the need for baby steps toward change rather than planning to overhaul one area of your life all at once. There’s something about the process of resolution-making that both inspires and annoys me. Here are my thoughts for this new year’s rant: How many of us are setting goals based on the person we are, and how many of us are making resolutions that we hope will transform us into someone else? 

Over the holidays, I watched a documentary about Mister Rogers. One of the songs featured on his iconic children’s TV show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, and explored in the film, began like this:  

“I like you as you are 
Exactly and precisely 
I think you turned out nicely 
And I like you as you are.”  

He said that every child needed to hear that message, because it’s not something that children are told. I realized that adults don’t hear this either. No matter your age, this message has an impact.  

A lot of new year’s efforts have the noble goal of adding value to our lives. Health-related habit changes can bring us energy and vitality. Ambitious goals can help us achieve the things that we wish to. At times, though, these efforts are inspired from without instead of from within. We’re told to be this way or that way, and we take the things the world tells us to be and turn them into our yearly aspirations for self-improvement, which we may or may not carry out. Rather than being accepted and accepting ourselves exactly as we are, we treat ourselves as things that must change.  

What if we took this decade as a time to be more ourselves? We could set goals that take who we are and accentuate it. Goals that celebrate the best parts of us. Goals that nourish parts of ourselves we know are there but don’t always express. Or we could set aside goal setting for the time being and take time to be.   

There are things I’d like to do in 2020, but I’ll take my old self with me as I do them. No “new me”… just a new year, a new decade, and whatever they happen to bring. 


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2019 in Review

It’s nice, at the end of the year, to look back on the last 12 months and celebrate accomplishments big and small. Time passes so quickly that it’s easy to wonder where the year went. Taking time to reflect on the last year helps to remember and appreciate that the time went to good use. Here are my highlights from 2019. What are yours?  

2019 publications round-up 

This was a big poetry year for me.

Hashtag Queer: LGBTQ+ Creative Anthology, Volume 3 published my sequence of “Tacit poems”. Qommunicate Publishing has been a great supporter of my work, including the more experimental pieces. 

Haiku Journal published my rain haiku in issue 63. (You can read individual issues of the journal online here, and there is a lovely print version as well.)

Lift Every Voice is a lovely new anthology that published my poem “You, the shadow you cast”.

My personal essay “Learning to Paint” was also published by Heart and Humanity in February.

I have three more publications forthcoming as well. Among them, Qommunicate’s Geek Out! II anthology will be publishing my poem/script hybrid geeking out about performance and semiotics, and House of Zolo’s first journal of speculative literature will include one of my poems when it’s released in January.

New job

I had a wonderful time working at RUSI, but moved on at the end of the year to the role of Development Editor at ICE Publishing. I’m excited to be working on books and taking a bigger-picture position.  

Enneagram corporate training

Last spring, I was invited to my old city, Edinburgh, to do an Enneagram-based corporate training for Turnitin. This company makes a program I used in my old university teaching job! The leadership team purchased copies of my book, The Modern Enneagram, for all the attendees. They were a delightful, engaged group, and it was fun to spend time in Edinburgh again (despite the rainy weather). It was my first time leading a corporate training where I traveled out of town.

Work-life balance

With a new job and new financial opportunities, I’ve been able to say no to work that hasn’t been a good fit. I’ve moved into a new flat that’s nicer than my previous one. I’ve taken some time to travel and am appreciating the value that’s placed on holidays in the UK. I’m grateful to see improvements in work-life balance after a 2018 that involved a lot of “hustling”.

What was your 2019 like? What big and small things do you appreciate about the past year?


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New Year, New You? Think Baby Steps.

It’s that time again: time for New Year’s resolutions. January rolls around and you make plans for the year ahead. You envision your best self and create resolutions hoping to make that person real. Sometimes your goals pan out. If you’re anything like me, though, all too often the following year arrives and the idealized self remains a distant dream, with resolutions left behind somewhere along the way. Many of my editing and coaching clients share my experience – a fairly common one – of having big dreams but struggling with practical goal-setting.

For a couple years, I made resolutions to do things I was already in the habit of doing, as I was confident that these goals would be fulfilled. Indeed they were, but while these easily achievable resolutions showed that I could continue on a positive course of action, they also added nothing new to my life. Later, I tried setting short intentions, choosing an overarching word or phrase, such as “making money,” to guide my year, and I set goals that were concrete but out of my comfort zone. These measures helped. But as 2019 brings in a new crop of enthusiastic articles about changing your life with the shifting of the calendar year, I think a change in philosophy is called for as well. Below are some measures that have helped in my own goal-setting and in my work with clients.

Think big if you want – as a starting point.

Lots of us find it fun to imagine the best version of ourselves. How can we know who we might become if we don’t allow ourselves to dream? Go ahead and make that vision board if you enjoy doing so, or that wild list of things you want to do in the future. Map out all the books you want to write or the countries you want to travel to. Your dreams will serve as fuel for your daily life. As the next steps suggest, though, be mindful that you can’t do everything at once.

Then bring the dream down to earth.

This is where practical goal-setting measures come in. The big dreams we have about our lives may not be realizable all at once, but if we think things through and plan carefully, we can create realistic outcomes that we wish for. Getting in shape, for instance, becomes easier if we don’t just purchase that gym membership but set a schedule, join an exercise class, and/or commit with a friend to exercise together. Writing a novel becomes easier if you set yourself a daily word count and working time. In 2017, Kacie Berghoef and I blogged about setting SMART goals. Try out this method of practical goal-setting by making your resolutions specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.

Hold yourself accountable.

I mentioned setting a schedule and finding a gym buddy. Once you’ve created a goal for yourself that moves in your desired direction and works with the life you have now – something small, not too time-consuming, trackable, and concrete – put measures in place to hold yourself accountable to it. Pencil (or type) commitments into your calendar. Set up a mutual support system with someone else where you check in periodically with each other about your goals. Many of my editing clients have found it useful to set deadlines and have check-ins. In some cases, working with me as an editor/writing coach and having that external cheerleading provided motivation for them to finish their projects. Make sure that you are committed, that your progress is being observed, and if possible, that someone besides you is invested in your achieving the goal.

You don’t have to do everything now.

You may have noticed the use of “goal,” singular. The key in achieving goals is not to set too many all at once. Rather than climbing that mountain right away, commit to baby steps by starting the training process. If you tend to make long lists of resolutions, set yourself fewer goals than you think you can realistically accomplish: that way your efforts will be focused. If you have a big vision and aren’t sure where to start, pick one step in that direction that you can get started on right away and commit to regularly. The key is just to get started. The fruits of a beginner’s effort will bring you more satisfaction than a dream unrelated to your actions.  

If you get closer to where you want to be, that’s a win.

We don’t always fulfill our new year’s resolutions. As I looked back on my goals for 2018, there was one that stood out as uncompleted. I hadn’t made the progress that I’d hoped, and felt disappointed looking back – until a loved one pointed out that I’d improved. I could see then that even if I hadn’t been 100% successful, setting and working towards that goal had still been a success. Maybe it’s the same for you. Are you in slightly better physical shape, for instance? Did you start that novel, even if you didn’t finish it? At the end of each year, look on your progress and celebrate. After all, no one says that you have to complete a goal in a year – you can keep going for as long as you like!

Good luck with your goal setting, and happy 2019!


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Celebrating My Wins of 2018

Some of my publications in 2018

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is almost over. Hopefully the year has had bright spots for you as it has for me. Following the publication of The Modern Enneagram in 2017, this has been a fruitful year of career building in writing and editing. I’m celebrating these wins as we honor the year that’s coming to a close and move towards the next.

Freelance editing

When I moved to Edinburgh from San Francisco in May 2017, I left my long-held part-time job as a writing tutor/instructor at an art college and moved into full-time self-employment. Initially, I offered writing coaching and set up an Enneagram workshop as well as seeking out editing projects. Beginning in 2018, my money-making direction clarified itself. While continuing to copy edit nonfiction, I had opportunities for developmental editing on fiction projects and began working with a new publisher on manuscript evaluations. It’s been richly rewarding to dive into story structure, hone my constructively critical eye, and give input in a way that’s appreciated.     

Anthology (and other) publications

While in Edinburgh, I participated in two lovely local writers’ groups and continued submitting my work. In addition to having articles and short pieces published, my work was accepted for four anthologies! It’s been exciting to have them arrive in the mail throughout the year and to discover gems from writers I wasn’t previously familiar with.

Here’s a round-up of my publications this year:

–Hashtag Queer, Vol. 2 Anthology: Mira (short story)

–Queer Around the World Anthology: Four Walks in Montreal (creative nonfiction)

–Spoon Knife 3: Incursions Anthology: The New World (science fiction short story)

-Shut Up and Write Anthology: How a Volunteer Grandma Helped Me Find My Voice (personal essay)

-Page and Spine: Quicksilver (short story)

-Write Naked: What One Freelancer Did With a Month Off (guest post)

-School of Shine: Setting Intentions for the New Year; What I Left Behind; Land, Love, and My People (personal essays)

-ELearning Industry: 6 eLearning Trends to Watch for in 2018 (research article)

 

A few of my pieces were also chosen to be reprinted:

–The Quilliad: Beast (poem)

-IEA Nine Points: Thoughts on the 2018 IEA Conference and Community (originally a blog post)

-Go Conscious: How Each Enneagram Type Can Build Healthy Habits (originally a blog post coauthored with Kacie Berghoef)

 

Enneagram conference presentations

While words are the most natural source of steady work for me, I love the depth and impact of the Enneagram. In 2018 I traveled to Amsterdam to give the mini-workshop, “Writing Your Enneagram Journey,” that participants enjoyed at summer 2017’s IEA Global Conference. I was also approached by my friend Chloe Keric-Eli, a Montreal Enneagram teacher, to submit a joint proposal for 2018’s IEA. As immigrants between multiple countries and cultures, our shared experiences led to the idea of presenting on “Where Culture Meets Type.” Participants at both conferences dove fully into the exercises, bringing insights about their personal and cultural stories that were illuminating for many in the room.      

A day job (and a move!)

Freelancing as an editor as my primary occupation provided wonderful opportunities to gain new skills, but it also highlighted additional things I wanted to learn. I realized that the most effective way to learn many of these would be to find an in-house role. Further, I hadn’t moved all the way to the UK to sit in my flat during working hours rather than engaging fully with the culture. Working with my primarily North American client base just wasn’t quite the same. I applied to day jobs in the editing field and was offered one in London working for RUSI, London’s venerable defence and security think tank. I moved in July, leaving a beautiful work-from-home space and gaining colleagues, increased confidence in my work, and skills ranging from project management methods to document design. When I’m not at my day job, I continue to work as a freelance editor on select projects. I’ve gotten quicker with my work, and more assured in making editorial choices. I’m committed and growing. I look forward to seeing where this career path takes me.

A novel draft completed

I have manuscripts sitting in my Dropbox folders that never made it to the book deal stage, and know from experience that finishing the first draft of a novel is a different beast from finalizing it and from hitting a chord that resonates with the reading public. I am, however, proud of the draft I completed this year. It’s a fantasy adventure story – the kind of thing I read for fun; the kind of thing I wrote as a youngster and teenager, and even then neglected to submit anywhere in favor of more “serious” stuff. I’ve been learning in the last few years that being fascinating does not make a thing less real. I put a lot of feelings about immigration and identity into this novel about magic. I got to invent a world with cities in caves and clouds, and I loved spending time there. I got to write “the end.”  

What are your wins this year?