Melanie Bell

Author, Writer, Editor

Tag Archives: productivity tips


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Book Review: The Four Tendencies

My January blog posts attest to my fascination with New Year’s resolutions, the goals and intentions that some of us set each year in the hope of making the coming year (or ourselves) better. After the coronavirus pandemic dashed many of our plans for 2020, I wonder how many of us will make resolutions this year. Maybe some of us will focus on taking care of ourselves and each other during this difficult time, or on just being ourselves. But for those who share my perverse fascination with goal setting and change, I found a book this year that offered me some valuable perspective.   

I first encountered Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework years ago, took her quiz online, and promptly forgot about it. Then, during England’s second lockdown this year, a mention of the book prompted me to look it up again. I was struggling with some changes I wanted to make in my new, working-from-home life, but I wasn’t making them. I didn’t know how. I asked myself, not for the first time, “Why can’t I change? Why can’t I get myself to do the things I know I should do? Why do I let myself down?”

Enter Gretchen Rubin, who has written books on happiness and habit formation, and maintains a popular happiness-focused podcast. She created the Four Tendencies framework after observing differences in how people respond to expectations. One of her friends was able to run with a track team but not by herself, for example.

The Four Tendencies book posits two different types of expectations: inner expectations, or the goals and standards we have for ourselves, and outer expectations, or the things that other people and external systems expect us to do. Rubin found that people respond to these different expectations in four different, and predictable, ways. 

The people she calls Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations. Questioners meet inner expectations and question outer expectations, choosing to do what others expect only when it makes sense to them. Obligers (like her friend who wanted to go running) meet outer expectations but not inner expectations, while Rebels resist both sets of expectations. There’s a lot more detail about how these four categories work in the book, as well as on Rubin’s website.

Rubin’s book offers thorough chapters about what each tendency means and how it works, along with chapters on dealing with each tendency. Like books on the Enneagram, the personality system I’ve been using for over a decade, it can be read as a self-help book, and/or used to understand how to work with other people. Medical personnel, for instance, have used her work to motivate people with different tendencies to follow their recommendations. 

Helpfully, the book begins with a quiz for identifying your tendency. From there, if you’re an Upholder, you’ll discover ways to manage “tightening up” and learn how following rules can paradoxically bring freedom. If you’re a Questioner, you’ll find tips for overcoming analysis paralysis and finding reasons for doing those irrational things you need to do. If you’re an Obliger, you’ll learn about how outer accountability is key for you – and how to build it into different areas of your life to do the things that you want to do, rather than burning yourself out by doing what others want. And if you’re a Rebel, like me, you’ll learn about motivating yourself by following personal desires and identity, and how to cultivate a sense of freedom in meeting goals rather than obligation.

I love how the Four Tendencies is a practical and focused framework for change. The book offers strategies that work with our “autopilot settings,” and thus it might be called ego supportive. Yes, we can all be more mindful and present, but the book’s suggestions don’t require that. It meets us where we are and gives us how-to’s for accomplishing what we want to accomplish.   

As useful as the Enneagram has been for me, it’s a descriptor, not a toolkit. It suggests that as someone whose personality follows the Type Four “Individualist” pattern, I benefit from bringing discipline and structure into my life, but it doesn’t give any nuts and bolts about how to create structure, or how to get myself to follow it. The Four Tendencies actually gave me some of those nuts and bolts. 

When it comes to change management, different people have different needs. I’ve spent a lot of time hoping to find a perfect source of accountability to get me to act differently, so it’s a relief to learn that accountability isn’t an effective strategy for me – it just feels like pressure, which I then resist. I’m equally recalcitrant with myself, declaring that I’m going to do something while an internal voice intones “Yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna.” Since reading this book, I’ve focused on taking power back into my own hands. Rubin writes, “Rebels can do anything they want to do.” The key for me is to focus on wanting rather than having to. When a sense of determination drives me, I know that I’m going to get that thing done. When I hear “Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,” I either let myself off the hook or dig deeper until I find that sense of determination.  

2020 brought a lot of events we had no control over, and 2021 is looking to unfold in much the same vein. If you’re looking for a book about making changes that are within your control, The Four Tendencies is a good one.


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New Year, New You? Think Baby Steps.

It’s that time again: time for New Year’s resolutions. January rolls around and you make plans for the year ahead. You envision your best self and create resolutions hoping to make that person real. Sometimes your goals pan out. If you’re anything like me, though, all too often the following year arrives and the idealized self remains a distant dream, with resolutions left behind somewhere along the way. Many of my editing and coaching clients share my experience – a fairly common one – of having big dreams but struggling with practical goal-setting.

For a couple years, I made resolutions to do things I was already in the habit of doing, as I was confident that these goals would be fulfilled. Indeed they were, but while these easily achievable resolutions showed that I could continue on a positive course of action, they also added nothing new to my life. Later, I tried setting short intentions, choosing an overarching word or phrase, such as “making money,” to guide my year, and I set goals that were concrete but out of my comfort zone. These measures helped. But as 2019 brings in a new crop of enthusiastic articles about changing your life with the shifting of the calendar year, I think a change in philosophy is called for as well. Below are some measures that have helped in my own goal-setting and in my work with clients.

Think big if you want – as a starting point.

Lots of us find it fun to imagine the best version of ourselves. How can we know who we might become if we don’t allow ourselves to dream? Go ahead and make that vision board if you enjoy doing so, or that wild list of things you want to do in the future. Map out all the books you want to write or the countries you want to travel to. Your dreams will serve as fuel for your daily life. As the next steps suggest, though, be mindful that you can’t do everything at once.

Then bring the dream down to earth.

This is where practical goal-setting measures come in. The big dreams we have about our lives may not be realizable all at once, but if we think things through and plan carefully, we can create realistic outcomes that we wish for. Getting in shape, for instance, becomes easier if we don’t just purchase that gym membership but set a schedule, join an exercise class, and/or commit with a friend to exercise together. Writing a novel becomes easier if you set yourself a daily word count and working time. In 2017, Kacie Berghoef and I blogged about setting SMART goals. Try out this method of practical goal-setting by making your resolutions specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.

Hold yourself accountable.

I mentioned setting a schedule and finding a gym buddy. Once you’ve created a goal for yourself that moves in your desired direction and works with the life you have now – something small, not too time-consuming, trackable, and concrete – put measures in place to hold yourself accountable to it. Pencil (or type) commitments into your calendar. Set up a mutual support system with someone else where you check in periodically with each other about your goals. Many of my editing clients have found it useful to set deadlines and have check-ins. In some cases, working with me as an editor/writing coach and having that external cheerleading provided motivation for them to finish their projects. Make sure that you are committed, that your progress is being observed, and if possible, that someone besides you is invested in your achieving the goal.

You don’t have to do everything now.

You may have noticed the use of “goal,” singular. The key in achieving goals is not to set too many all at once. Rather than climbing that mountain right away, commit to baby steps by starting the training process. If you tend to make long lists of resolutions, set yourself fewer goals than you think you can realistically accomplish: that way your efforts will be focused. If you have a big vision and aren’t sure where to start, pick one step in that direction that you can get started on right away and commit to regularly. The key is just to get started. The fruits of a beginner’s effort will bring you more satisfaction than a dream unrelated to your actions.  

If you get closer to where you want to be, that’s a win.

We don’t always fulfill our new year’s resolutions. As I looked back on my goals for 2018, there was one that stood out as uncompleted. I hadn’t made the progress that I’d hoped, and felt disappointed looking back – until a loved one pointed out that I’d improved. I could see then that even if I hadn’t been 100% successful, setting and working towards that goal had still been a success. Maybe it’s the same for you. Are you in slightly better physical shape, for instance? Did you start that novel, even if you didn’t finish it? At the end of each year, look on your progress and celebrate. After all, no one says that you have to complete a goal in a year – you can keep going for as long as you like!

Good luck with your goal setting, and happy 2019!


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SMART Goal Setting for the New Year

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

As we turn the corner into another year, our best intentions come with us. We make plans to improve our health, relationships, work life, and many other areas that are meaningful or challenging for us. For a rare few, these goals have a lasting impact. For others, they are swiftly forgotten.

The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions has humbler roots than many of our goals have today. According to Time Magazine, it began in ancient Babylon, with promises made to the gods. The Babylonians took a down-to-earth approach; their promises included such manageable goals as returning things they had borrowed.

We can learn a thing or two from the Babylonians in setting yearly goals for ourselves that have staying power. A philosophy that aligned with their simple, doable promises was articulated by George T. Doran in 1981. Writing to managers, he described a system of goal setting that follows the acronym SMART. There are a few variations on the words associated with SMART. One version we like stands for:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time-bound

When we set goals that follow the five SMART principles, we’re more likely to achieve them. We build in accountability for ourselves and ensure that we don’t bite off more than we can chew. Rather than thinking big for your New Year’s resolutions, try using SMART principles that will work with your Enneagram type to help you achieve your goals.

Specific: Instead of committing to an overarching idea such as “getting in shape,” commit to a concrete practice that will move you toward your intentions, such as running three times a week.
While specificity is important for anyone who wants to set achievable goals, it’s especially useful for types Four and Nine to consider. Fours often daydream of lofty achievements; getting clear on the steps they want to take will bring these closer to reality. For Nines, hazy, generalized goals can lead to inaction, so focusing on the specifics will bring momentum.

Measurable: Find ways to measure progress toward your goals quantitatively. Continuing with the example of running, you could aim to get your mile down to under ten minutes, and time yourself with each practice. This step is particularly important for type Eight, as Eights tend to pour a lot of energy into their pursuits, sometimes tiring themselves out or quitting. Creating measurable goals will keep actions strategic.

Attainable: Choose a goal that is under your control. Something like getting a book published depends on external circumstances, but submitting your manuscript to a set number of publishers is something you can accomplish on your own. Consider this especially if you are type Three or Six. Threes often focus on outside validation, and benefit from the inner-directed approach of attainability. Sixes often place control within others’ hands, and focusing on attainability brings the ball into their court.

Realistic: Consider how your goal, which should be fairly concrete by now, will fit in with the rest of your life. Do you have the ability, resources, money, and time to achieve what you’re hoping to do? Are there aspects you need to reevaluate to make the goal doable? Realism is an important consideration for types One and Seven. For Ones, it will minimize perfectionistic expectations and ease pressure. For Sevens, it will focus energy on priorities and lessen overextension.

Time-bound: Set yourself a deadline, for the final goal as well as for any milestones toward it. This practice is valuable for all of us, and wonderful for types Two and Five. Twos frequently prioritize others and can get sidetracked, so keeping to a schedule provides useful structure for tending to their own desires. Fives tend to spend a lot of time on planning, so having a deadline will ensure their goals materialize in action.

We encourage you to use all five SMART principles as you create and pursue your New Year’s resolutions, with a special emphasis on the dominant one for your type. With these practices in mind, you’ll see better results in meeting the goals that matter to you.


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Productivity Tips for the Enneagram Types

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Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

In this fast-paced world, productivity is an important skill to master. There is a lot to get done, and the more effectively we can do it, the closer we come to achieving our goals. Productivity skills can also support us in leading a more balanced life, working when we need to work and building in ample time for play and rest.

Let’s look beyond goal setting this month and into building greater productivity through life management skills. Here are some tips for each Enneagram type to hone their productivity that delve a little deeper than “just get it done.”

Type One: Aim for 90%. When stressed, you hold yourself to a higher standard than you need to, and beginning your work can seem arduous. Aiming for 90% in your work is a realistic – in fact a high – bar, and leaves you energy for necessary rest. Make this your new standard and you’ll find that tasks get accomplished more quickly.

Type Two: Limit your “people time” until you’ve accomplished goals. Under stress, you tend to get sidetracked from tasks by attending to relationships. Give yourself built-in structures such as time-limited meetings with others, or deadlines to accomplish non-interpersonal tasks. You’ll find plenty of time for relationship building if you stick to your schedule, and you’ll stay on top of the curve.

Type Three: Build thoroughness of process into your task completion. When stressed, you have a tendency to cut corners and focus on presenting a shiny facade. Instead, look to the minutiae of your work that not everyone will see. Getting everything done right, with plentiful attention to the details, will ensure your work is outstanding and you don’t have to mend any oversights.  

Type Four: Make commitments. When stressed, you lose focus on objective goals as the subjective world looms larger. Commit to specific outcomes in spite of fluctuating feelings, and keep yourself on track with reminders. Build time for subjective processing into your schedule, such as journaling before work every day, so you’ll have more clarity to meet your objectives.   

Type Five: Seek out new possibilities. When stressed, you become more narrowly focused, and may be productive in one area while neglecting others. Connect with colleagues and share what you’re each working on. Take on a project that deviates from your norm. Seeking out breadth in experiences will bring out the most productive side of your innovative thinking.

Type Six: Seek out support for achievements. When you’re under stress, you sometimes procrastinate by doing busywork while putting off necessary milestones. Use your relational skills to create mutual accountability with a friend, colleague, or group. Each of you can regularly remind the others of the tasks you need to get done, or you can work together on them.   

Type Seven: Create a limited time and space for new ideas. When stressed, you look toward future possibilities and don’t always finish present ones. You can mitigate this by having a set daily time (such as 20 minutes) and place (such as a notebook) for the new. When you have an inspiration for a new project, add it to your brainstorming book, set it aside for later, and refocus.

Type Eight: Block out time for reflection and strategy. It’s not a problem for you to act, but under stress, you can put the cart before the horse. Having time laid out to look at which long-range strategies are best for your goals will save you from making hasty, and potentially costly, choices. It may help to seek and consider input from others before you make decisions, as well.

Type Nine: Use affirmations to help with your confidence and productivity. When stressed, you tend to give yourself “dis-affirmations” – believing you aren’t ready, doubting whether this is something you really want to do, and so on. Countering with assertive mental words or pictures – “I can get it done,” “I’m committed to it” – will energize you toward your goals.   

These are just a few tips to get you started in building the complex life skill of enhancing your productivity. Seek out support from others with these strategies – finding the right cheerleaders or accountability buddies is helpful for all the types in developing productivity skills. You don’t need to do these perfectly; every baby step is an improvement. Happy productivity trails!